Mike Shedlock dishes out a dose of common-sense advice to his readers. What he's saying sounds remarkably like what I'm in the process of saying. Cut to the chase here.
A few excerpts:
"The best way to avoid drowning in debt is to not get into debt in the first place. Those who are in debt should attempt to get out of it as quick as they can. The way to do this is simple: Live within your means or better yet live below your means."
News flash...
"Just as the housing problem spread from subprime to Alt-A to prime, job losses are highly likely to spread from housing, to commercial real estate, to retail. To protect oneself from a loss of income, it is imperative to have actual cash savings in a money market, short term treasuries, or short term CDs. Those barely able to make home payments now and who have no cash savings, will be in serious jeopardy if they lose a job. Don't be one of them."
This finance guy even takes on grocery shopping...
"Food prices seem to be soaring. Get an electrically efficient freezer and buy what's on sale. Food can easily last three to six months or longer, if properly wrapped in plastic and/or freezer paper. My parents did this. Mom would buy what was on sale, dad would wrap it in freezer wrap and label and date the package. It seems to be a lost art."
Mish usually writes about more technical stuff, so I was amused to see him break into housewife mode. His readers regularly recommend stocking up on gold and ammo. But Mish is not that extreme. He also co-authors an investment newsletter that I happen to subscribe to.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Commercial Break: Charitable Giving
It occurs to me, when I am in my hard-nosed housewife financial reporting mode, that I am not mentioning my faith very much. Those reading this blog may not be Catholic, but they may be Christians, or other religions, or simply people who are concerned about cancer or the homeless. And they might wonder: where does our charitable giving/tithing practice fit in with all the emphasis on saving and cutting the bottom line?
Part of the reason is because I am taking it for granted that the giving category is not a category that should be cut. Granted, it may shrink from time to time, but it should actually increase as your debt is paid off and your pile of savings starts to grow. There is no need to be pedantic as to the amount. The Catholic Church suggests that, out of a 10% tithe (I am assuming they mean 10% of your net take-home pay), you give 5% to your parish, 1% to the archdiocese, and the rest to the charities of your choice. But the point is that you give a consistent amount, and it should be enough that you "feel" it--remember the widow's mite.
But the actual numbers reveal that most Catholics, sadly, give far less. It's probably because they are feeling the squeeze from taxes, inflation, high housing costs, escalating costs of everything, the double-whammy of paying taxes for public schools while shelling out for private school, etc, etc. Then here comes the priest with another homily about stewardship or another capital campaign. "Sheesh!" they practically roll their eyes in frustration. "Does it ever end?"
I read a statistic today that needs reckoning with. If you are lucky enough to make $50,000 a year, you are in an elite club--the wealthiest 1% in the world! Makes all those parables warning about the fate of rich men hit home, eh? And yet, most people making this figure hardly resemble the rich man of last Sunday's Gospel, who ignored poor Lazarus during life and met his dismal fate in hell. And yet, the forces that keep us so mired in financial navel-gazing must surely be Satanic in origin: advertising, oppressive government taxation and unjust policies, the all-too-easy financing of the last several years. They contrive to make us feel poor, to ponder our checkbooks and shrinking bank balances, wondering if there will be enough for our seemingly endless needs, let alone our desires.
Is it justifiable to clean up our own financial house in order to save (and perhaps even invest)? Or is this just accumulation for its own sake? Would Jesus, suffering on the cross, approve of Bill Bonner, for instance, the founder of one of my favorite financial sites, The Daily Reckoning? After reading his account of spending the equivalent of $800 USD on a night of dinner and theatre while visiting with grown children, then "rousing the girls" to get them to Mass the next morning, I have to be amazed at his candor. He as much admits he's a Catholic by saying so, but he's never commented on the purpose of wealth, or the moral imperative it imposes. Perhaps he fears alienating his readership. But I am watching closely, and so is God.
There are examples of wealthy men in Scripture who are, nevertheless, right with God. We may all wish to be one of them, but we "can't serve both God and mammon." I experienced this dilemma while researching the right allocation mix for my husband's IRA. What right do I have to be trading stocks while other people are starving to death? I asked myself. We have an eighteen-inch tall statue of the Blessed Virgin in our bedroom now--and let me tell you, it's hard to face her sometimes. According to Blessed Mary of Agreda, Mary and Joseph gave one third of their income to the temple, one third to the poor, and lived on the remaining third. Mary lived in grinding poverty her entire life.
And yet, there is the example in Proverbs 31. This woman is my hero, and part of my untiring efforts to keep up my house and find new "efficient" ways to do things is inspired by her example. And yet, she is described as undertaking capital ventures. She makes and sells things. She looks over a field, buys it and plants a vineyard. There is the parable of the talents. The man who did nothing with the talent was punished severely by the master. And everything that we have, both material and non-material, should be considered a gift (a "talent") from the Master. And so we must do something with it.
Obviously, if we're in doubt, we must pray. And the chief part of our prayer should be thanksgiving, even if we have nothing. For God has seen fit to give us what we have, for the sake of our eternal souls. And then we must ask, "How can we be better stewards of the resources You have given us?" This is an excellent prayer for husband and wife to pray together. Then just keep praying it and try to be at peace until God points out some answers. Remember the cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. Read through one of the Gospels, prayerfully, passage by passage. Keep listening.
All good things come from God. High wages, money in a bank account, even stocks can all be used for the Lord. It's His, anyway. Just ask Him what He wants you to do with it. Same thing with debt. "God, I give it to you. What do you want me to do? Thank you. Help me learn. Help me be a steward of the resources You have given me."
I have an uncle who is deeply in debt. I keep urging him to be thankful, ask God for solutions, and to try to be at peace. We also discuss practical solutions to his problems, but it begins and ends with God. Even Job's riches couldn't save him.
Having said that, I don't think it's against God's will to get our financial house in order. We are being good stewards, is all. Getting ourselves out of debt and providing for reasonable financial needs gets our gaze off our own navels and lifts it back out to the world, where it should be. The difference is in the purposes for our wealth. Don't buy the big-screen TV just because you can afford it. Be ever-mindful of those who don't have as much. Wear out some holes in your socks before you just automatically buy more. Think about people who don't have shoes. Eat some TVP, even if you can afford prime rib. Cultivating poverty of spirit along with prudent money management will cushion some of the knee-jerk desire to spend the money as soon as you have it. Who knows? God might be asking you to help fund a local maternity home.
And keep a watch out for the "Lazarus" in your life.
Catholics must live their faith out loud, and yet they will never be able to do so if they are caught up in the getting-and-spending mode our economy urges on us. In the economic trough ahead of us, the squeeze is just going to get harder, and good jobs and low prices will be scarce. And yet, there will still be parishes to run, churches and schools to build, suffering people to succor. Our wealth is there in part to serve them. Who will give if we do not?
Part of the reason is because I am taking it for granted that the giving category is not a category that should be cut. Granted, it may shrink from time to time, but it should actually increase as your debt is paid off and your pile of savings starts to grow. There is no need to be pedantic as to the amount. The Catholic Church suggests that, out of a 10% tithe (I am assuming they mean 10% of your net take-home pay), you give 5% to your parish, 1% to the archdiocese, and the rest to the charities of your choice. But the point is that you give a consistent amount, and it should be enough that you "feel" it--remember the widow's mite.
But the actual numbers reveal that most Catholics, sadly, give far less. It's probably because they are feeling the squeeze from taxes, inflation, high housing costs, escalating costs of everything, the double-whammy of paying taxes for public schools while shelling out for private school, etc, etc. Then here comes the priest with another homily about stewardship or another capital campaign. "Sheesh!" they practically roll their eyes in frustration. "Does it ever end?"
I read a statistic today that needs reckoning with. If you are lucky enough to make $50,000 a year, you are in an elite club--the wealthiest 1% in the world! Makes all those parables warning about the fate of rich men hit home, eh? And yet, most people making this figure hardly resemble the rich man of last Sunday's Gospel, who ignored poor Lazarus during life and met his dismal fate in hell. And yet, the forces that keep us so mired in financial navel-gazing must surely be Satanic in origin: advertising, oppressive government taxation and unjust policies, the all-too-easy financing of the last several years. They contrive to make us feel poor, to ponder our checkbooks and shrinking bank balances, wondering if there will be enough for our seemingly endless needs, let alone our desires.
Is it justifiable to clean up our own financial house in order to save (and perhaps even invest)? Or is this just accumulation for its own sake? Would Jesus, suffering on the cross, approve of Bill Bonner, for instance, the founder of one of my favorite financial sites, The Daily Reckoning? After reading his account of spending the equivalent of $800 USD on a night of dinner and theatre while visiting with grown children, then "rousing the girls" to get them to Mass the next morning, I have to be amazed at his candor. He as much admits he's a Catholic by saying so, but he's never commented on the purpose of wealth, or the moral imperative it imposes. Perhaps he fears alienating his readership. But I am watching closely, and so is God.
There are examples of wealthy men in Scripture who are, nevertheless, right with God. We may all wish to be one of them, but we "can't serve both God and mammon." I experienced this dilemma while researching the right allocation mix for my husband's IRA. What right do I have to be trading stocks while other people are starving to death? I asked myself. We have an eighteen-inch tall statue of the Blessed Virgin in our bedroom now--and let me tell you, it's hard to face her sometimes. According to Blessed Mary of Agreda, Mary and Joseph gave one third of their income to the temple, one third to the poor, and lived on the remaining third. Mary lived in grinding poverty her entire life.
And yet, there is the example in Proverbs 31. This woman is my hero, and part of my untiring efforts to keep up my house and find new "efficient" ways to do things is inspired by her example. And yet, she is described as undertaking capital ventures. She makes and sells things. She looks over a field, buys it and plants a vineyard. There is the parable of the talents. The man who did nothing with the talent was punished severely by the master. And everything that we have, both material and non-material, should be considered a gift (a "talent") from the Master. And so we must do something with it.
Obviously, if we're in doubt, we must pray. And the chief part of our prayer should be thanksgiving, even if we have nothing. For God has seen fit to give us what we have, for the sake of our eternal souls. And then we must ask, "How can we be better stewards of the resources You have given us?" This is an excellent prayer for husband and wife to pray together. Then just keep praying it and try to be at peace until God points out some answers. Remember the cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. Read through one of the Gospels, prayerfully, passage by passage. Keep listening.
All good things come from God. High wages, money in a bank account, even stocks can all be used for the Lord. It's His, anyway. Just ask Him what He wants you to do with it. Same thing with debt. "God, I give it to you. What do you want me to do? Thank you. Help me learn. Help me be a steward of the resources You have given me."
I have an uncle who is deeply in debt. I keep urging him to be thankful, ask God for solutions, and to try to be at peace. We also discuss practical solutions to his problems, but it begins and ends with God. Even Job's riches couldn't save him.
Having said that, I don't think it's against God's will to get our financial house in order. We are being good stewards, is all. Getting ourselves out of debt and providing for reasonable financial needs gets our gaze off our own navels and lifts it back out to the world, where it should be. The difference is in the purposes for our wealth. Don't buy the big-screen TV just because you can afford it. Be ever-mindful of those who don't have as much. Wear out some holes in your socks before you just automatically buy more. Think about people who don't have shoes. Eat some TVP, even if you can afford prime rib. Cultivating poverty of spirit along with prudent money management will cushion some of the knee-jerk desire to spend the money as soon as you have it. Who knows? God might be asking you to help fund a local maternity home.
And keep a watch out for the "Lazarus" in your life.
Catholics must live their faith out loud, and yet they will never be able to do so if they are caught up in the getting-and-spending mode our economy urges on us. In the economic trough ahead of us, the squeeze is just going to get harder, and good jobs and low prices will be scarce. And yet, there will still be parishes to run, churches and schools to build, suffering people to succor. Our wealth is there in part to serve them. Who will give if we do not?
Friday, September 28, 2007
WW2: Earn less, get more
Many people who take a hard look at their income/expense picture conclude that the solution is simple--just earn more. But as Amy D. explains early on in the Complete Tightwad Gazette, it's like trying to lose weight by exercise alone, without restricting calories. It takes twice as much work, not to mention time. People who try to earn more in their careers often have to spend more money and time to do so, whether it's achieving an advanced degree, or just working overtime. Some people try to squeeze in a home-based business on the side, but I know from experience that this can be a time-waster and a money-loser, if you're not extremely careful. Often the simplest solution for couples is to add more paychecks--hence the phenomenon of the wife wasting her time on low-paying service jobs.
Am I being pessimistic? There are, after all, lots of women with "good jobs," jobs that required a lot of investment on the front end, and seem to pay off in the short term. And, since I've heard "I need to work" so often, we need to examine the case of the more highly-paid Mrs. Let's say the wife has a moderate-paying job, like schoolteacher or nurse. I firmly believe (tho I have no charts to back this up) that in order for a woman to earn a high enough income to make it worth her while to be in the workforce, she must spend more hours in the workplace. Either it's because her skills confine her to office or service work (which may suck hours in exchage for a fixed salary or offer shift work for a low fixed hourly wage), or she finds herself funneled into public sector jobs, for which there is a fixed wage but more hours of actual work (such as schoolteacher). The one exception seems to be nursing--where a woman can go out, acquire her credentials, and then work a fixed number of hours for a fixed wage that is high enough and doesn't entail more work.
But there is a further cost to the woman's increased income productivity in the workplace. She now spends so many hours outside of the home, that she must "replace herself" and the things that she may have done in the home, with purchased goods and services. This goes above and beyond the cost of daycare and convenience food; the woman says to herself that she is working--therefore she can afford to buy things. And since wholesome family life is lacking, she'll hit the stores to try and replicate it. Ever been in beautifully decorated and furnished homes that stand empty all day? Or perhaps she splurges on twice-monthly maid service. On top of that, there are the children to truck here and there, and programs to put them in so that they don't go home to the empty house, and fees and supplies for those activities. Not to mention the enormous emotional strain that a "productive" wife puts on a marriage. Not only do husband and wife hardly see each other, nor are permitted to serve one another in tangible ways involving their home life, but they spend hundreds of hours a year in the company of co-workers of the opposite sex who may or may not seem more attractive or sympathetic as time goes by. Add the inevitable financial strain of increased expenses that the wife's career was originally supposed to prevent, and you have fertile ground for divorce--the biggest expense of all.
But it isn't my intent to debate the wife who works. Work if you will, only do so with eyes open to the consequences. The fact is, most of us can only increase our productivity up to a point. After you've reached a certain "balance point" (if you will) the IRS will come and take away the surplus. It's sad but true--our modern economy actually punishes increased productivity with increased taxes. The way our progressive income tax works, you get taxed at a lower rate for the first $15,000 of earned income. But each $5- $10,000 (depending on the tax code in a given year) you make beyond that is taxed at successively higher rates. A married couple filing jointly pools their income and gets a standard deduction that is not equal to twice the amount of standard deduction a single person is allowed to take (hence the term "marriage penalty"). Add the wife's income on top of the husband's income, subtract the deduction, and you can see why it generally doesn't pay to make the wife work. They are now in a higher tax bracket. Every bit of extra income the wife brings in is taxed at much higher rates than the husband's. Even if they have a number of itemized deductions (such as their mortgage, daycare, or child tax credits), these "shelters" still represent income that had to be paid out during the year for various expenses...expenses which tend to be higher when both spouses work (since they figure they can "afford" it). An income tax return is not the windfall it seems to be, either. Keep in mind that Medicare and Social Security/FICA taxes are equal to or greater than the federal income tax and you can't claim anything against those. Earn more income, and you'll pay more on them...without ever seeing a penny of it back. The higher tax cost of working wives (even if they are more highly paid), along with increased expenses, can thus erase the perceived gains.
Consider ALL the costs of being employed. Not only are there higher taxes to be paid, but the higher the income, the higher the cost of being employed tends to be. What do I mean? Just one example: let's say you have a long commute in order to get to your workplace. Do you have any idea of what the cost per mile of driving your car is? It's more than just the cost of gas. It's the total cost of every penny you've put into that car--including expected future repairs--divided by the total number of miles you expect to get out of it. You would have to add up your mileage during the year and multiply it by that figure to get the cost of your transportation. How much time do you spend commuting and how much would that time be worth if spent in a more productive way (like if you worked closer and could get there earlier)? Does your commute incur extra costs (lattes, occasional trips to McDonald's for breakfast, SIRIUS satellite radio, etc.)? If you're a woman, you're probably extremely sensitive to what the other women in the office are having, doing, and wearing. The higher your income, the more likely you are to spend more money on clothes, haircuts, handbags, and lunches. Most men are virtually required to carry cell phones anymore, to be perceived as viable job candidates. Increasingly, women and kids are packing cell phones as well. The bills are enormous. What about Internet use? The purchase of other personal electronics (pagers, PDA's, laptops) that seem to "go with" the image or requirements of being an upwardly mobile worker? My husband travels for work and goes through about $100 worth of luggage a year. Add it up.
All of this DOES NOT INCLUDE the cost of the degree track or vocational skills you had to acquire in order to go to work in the first place. Student debt must be factored in to the income a certain career track has to offer...and it only goes up in proportion to the expectation of higher income. Consider the mania over college education. Every child is now encouraged to make a college degree their ultimate goal, regardless of the child's individual potential and preference. But is this a good investment of time and money? How many of us pissed away our college years only to find ourselves hip-deep in student loans with no sense of purpose in life? The lucky ones who did manage to get good jobs and earn more find themselves in higher tax brackets and more expensive lifestyles. Did they really get ahead?
Hey, I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade here. If you paid your dues and are now pulling down a substantial income and have absolutely no financial worries, kudoes to you. In good times, it makes sense to increase your productivity as much as opportunity and common sense afford. In bad times, people must often consider alternatives they never would have touched before. And times are bad. Median real wages for men and women have gone down for the last five years--and this was during a supposed "recovery." Now our stocks and bonds and houses are "deflating"--losing value--while food, gas, and health care costs continue to rise, as well as the cost of a college education. And all the cheap gewgaws from China are not enough to make up for it. My point is, if the college education doesn't pay, why pay a premium for it?
What you really need to consider is, how can you maximize the income you have to spend on actual LIFE, while minimizing the amount you spend on "cost" (taxes, housing, debt service, cost of employment). Instead of asking yourself how many square feet you can get in a house, or how new a vehicle you can purchase, look at the bottom line and ask, what do I want for my family? Do we want a high quality of life without financial pressures? Would we rather have mom at home, or working at the projects she finds most satisfying? If we think smaller in terms of material things, we can think larger in terms of having a fulfilling family life. Taking summer vacations (the inexpensive kind)...starting a garden...putting an addition on the house by doing it ouselves. Or just watching the leaves fall while the cookies are in the oven. Sometimes the things we enjoy the most are the ones that take more time than money. If you seek to maximize the use of time allocated to producing income, according to the skills and the wage that bring you the most gain with the least tax/debt liability, you can free up the maximum amount of time to spend on family, hobbies, church or civic work.
An inspiring example comes from the pages of the Economic Survival Manual. A working couple, upon toting up all the costs of being employed, promptly quit their jobs, and worked out a plan. Along with their two teenage sons, they each found a part-time job paying $5,000 a year. Since each of them was paying only the minimum in taxes, their disposable income was about the same as when mom and dad spent long hours at work and on stressful commutes. Plus each of them worked only a few months a year to earn his or her share of the family income. The rest was free time! This example comes from 1982, when getting health care coverage was less of an issue, but it's worth it to think outside of the box.
The bugaboo that keeps people from pursuing this plan, however, tends to be the high fixed cost of a mortgage. "Even if the costs are higher," they'll say. "We have to increase income to pay for the house."
We'll tackle that next.
NOTE: In wordy and detailed posts, I'm going to experiment a little with format. Here, I bolded the main idea in each (enormous) paragraph to help readers wade through. Let me know if you prefer it plain, or chopped up into smaller paragraphs, or what have you.
Am I being pessimistic? There are, after all, lots of women with "good jobs," jobs that required a lot of investment on the front end, and seem to pay off in the short term. And, since I've heard "I need to work" so often, we need to examine the case of the more highly-paid Mrs. Let's say the wife has a moderate-paying job, like schoolteacher or nurse. I firmly believe (tho I have no charts to back this up) that in order for a woman to earn a high enough income to make it worth her while to be in the workforce, she must spend more hours in the workplace. Either it's because her skills confine her to office or service work (which may suck hours in exchage for a fixed salary or offer shift work for a low fixed hourly wage), or she finds herself funneled into public sector jobs, for which there is a fixed wage but more hours of actual work (such as schoolteacher). The one exception seems to be nursing--where a woman can go out, acquire her credentials, and then work a fixed number of hours for a fixed wage that is high enough and doesn't entail more work.
But there is a further cost to the woman's increased income productivity in the workplace. She now spends so many hours outside of the home, that she must "replace herself" and the things that she may have done in the home, with purchased goods and services. This goes above and beyond the cost of daycare and convenience food; the woman says to herself that she is working--therefore she can afford to buy things. And since wholesome family life is lacking, she'll hit the stores to try and replicate it. Ever been in beautifully decorated and furnished homes that stand empty all day? Or perhaps she splurges on twice-monthly maid service. On top of that, there are the children to truck here and there, and programs to put them in so that they don't go home to the empty house, and fees and supplies for those activities. Not to mention the enormous emotional strain that a "productive" wife puts on a marriage. Not only do husband and wife hardly see each other, nor are permitted to serve one another in tangible ways involving their home life, but they spend hundreds of hours a year in the company of co-workers of the opposite sex who may or may not seem more attractive or sympathetic as time goes by. Add the inevitable financial strain of increased expenses that the wife's career was originally supposed to prevent, and you have fertile ground for divorce--the biggest expense of all.
But it isn't my intent to debate the wife who works. Work if you will, only do so with eyes open to the consequences. The fact is, most of us can only increase our productivity up to a point. After you've reached a certain "balance point" (if you will) the IRS will come and take away the surplus. It's sad but true--our modern economy actually punishes increased productivity with increased taxes. The way our progressive income tax works, you get taxed at a lower rate for the first $15,000 of earned income. But each $5- $10,000 (depending on the tax code in a given year) you make beyond that is taxed at successively higher rates. A married couple filing jointly pools their income and gets a standard deduction that is not equal to twice the amount of standard deduction a single person is allowed to take (hence the term "marriage penalty"). Add the wife's income on top of the husband's income, subtract the deduction, and you can see why it generally doesn't pay to make the wife work. They are now in a higher tax bracket. Every bit of extra income the wife brings in is taxed at much higher rates than the husband's. Even if they have a number of itemized deductions (such as their mortgage, daycare, or child tax credits), these "shelters" still represent income that had to be paid out during the year for various expenses...expenses which tend to be higher when both spouses work (since they figure they can "afford" it). An income tax return is not the windfall it seems to be, either. Keep in mind that Medicare and Social Security/FICA taxes are equal to or greater than the federal income tax and you can't claim anything against those. Earn more income, and you'll pay more on them...without ever seeing a penny of it back. The higher tax cost of working wives (even if they are more highly paid), along with increased expenses, can thus erase the perceived gains.
Consider ALL the costs of being employed. Not only are there higher taxes to be paid, but the higher the income, the higher the cost of being employed tends to be. What do I mean? Just one example: let's say you have a long commute in order to get to your workplace. Do you have any idea of what the cost per mile of driving your car is? It's more than just the cost of gas. It's the total cost of every penny you've put into that car--including expected future repairs--divided by the total number of miles you expect to get out of it. You would have to add up your mileage during the year and multiply it by that figure to get the cost of your transportation. How much time do you spend commuting and how much would that time be worth if spent in a more productive way (like if you worked closer and could get there earlier)? Does your commute incur extra costs (lattes, occasional trips to McDonald's for breakfast, SIRIUS satellite radio, etc.)? If you're a woman, you're probably extremely sensitive to what the other women in the office are having, doing, and wearing. The higher your income, the more likely you are to spend more money on clothes, haircuts, handbags, and lunches. Most men are virtually required to carry cell phones anymore, to be perceived as viable job candidates. Increasingly, women and kids are packing cell phones as well. The bills are enormous. What about Internet use? The purchase of other personal electronics (pagers, PDA's, laptops) that seem to "go with" the image or requirements of being an upwardly mobile worker? My husband travels for work and goes through about $100 worth of luggage a year. Add it up.
All of this DOES NOT INCLUDE the cost of the degree track or vocational skills you had to acquire in order to go to work in the first place. Student debt must be factored in to the income a certain career track has to offer...and it only goes up in proportion to the expectation of higher income. Consider the mania over college education. Every child is now encouraged to make a college degree their ultimate goal, regardless of the child's individual potential and preference. But is this a good investment of time and money? How many of us pissed away our college years only to find ourselves hip-deep in student loans with no sense of purpose in life? The lucky ones who did manage to get good jobs and earn more find themselves in higher tax brackets and more expensive lifestyles. Did they really get ahead?
Hey, I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade here. If you paid your dues and are now pulling down a substantial income and have absolutely no financial worries, kudoes to you. In good times, it makes sense to increase your productivity as much as opportunity and common sense afford. In bad times, people must often consider alternatives they never would have touched before. And times are bad. Median real wages for men and women have gone down for the last five years--and this was during a supposed "recovery." Now our stocks and bonds and houses are "deflating"--losing value--while food, gas, and health care costs continue to rise, as well as the cost of a college education. And all the cheap gewgaws from China are not enough to make up for it. My point is, if the college education doesn't pay, why pay a premium for it?
What you really need to consider is, how can you maximize the income you have to spend on actual LIFE, while minimizing the amount you spend on "cost" (taxes, housing, debt service, cost of employment). Instead of asking yourself how many square feet you can get in a house, or how new a vehicle you can purchase, look at the bottom line and ask, what do I want for my family? Do we want a high quality of life without financial pressures? Would we rather have mom at home, or working at the projects she finds most satisfying? If we think smaller in terms of material things, we can think larger in terms of having a fulfilling family life. Taking summer vacations (the inexpensive kind)...starting a garden...putting an addition on the house by doing it ouselves. Or just watching the leaves fall while the cookies are in the oven. Sometimes the things we enjoy the most are the ones that take more time than money. If you seek to maximize the use of time allocated to producing income, according to the skills and the wage that bring you the most gain with the least tax/debt liability, you can free up the maximum amount of time to spend on family, hobbies, church or civic work.
An inspiring example comes from the pages of the Economic Survival Manual. A working couple, upon toting up all the costs of being employed, promptly quit their jobs, and worked out a plan. Along with their two teenage sons, they each found a part-time job paying $5,000 a year. Since each of them was paying only the minimum in taxes, their disposable income was about the same as when mom and dad spent long hours at work and on stressful commutes. Plus each of them worked only a few months a year to earn his or her share of the family income. The rest was free time! This example comes from 1982, when getting health care coverage was less of an issue, but it's worth it to think outside of the box.
The bugaboo that keeps people from pursuing this plan, however, tends to be the high fixed cost of a mortgage. "Even if the costs are higher," they'll say. "We have to increase income to pay for the house."
We'll tackle that next.
NOTE: In wordy and detailed posts, I'm going to experiment a little with format. Here, I bolded the main idea in each (enormous) paragraph to help readers wade through. Let me know if you prefer it plain, or chopped up into smaller paragraphs, or what have you.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Wacky Way #1: Don't bother with a budget
Every beginning finance book begins with having you make out a budget. But really, that is stupid advice. I tried!
For a year, I dutifilly sat down with our bank statement and laboriously added up individual check and debit card payments in about ten different categories in an effort to figure out the elusive budget. It didn't work--there were always incidental expenses, impulse buys, random fees and "miscellaneous money" (Who spent $73.47 on check number 2225??). Add to this the fact that when the paycheck comes in, it isn't always a constant number either. I attempted to average our income over a one-year period but that was also a laborious task...one that I would have to repeat year after year (assuming we still had it). And this is coming from a person whose aptitude test scores always registered "accountant" at the top. How is the not-too-keen-on-math person supposed to perform this feat? The answer: don't.
Here's what you do. You need to get the big picture on your finances, and Uncle Sam already forces you to do it. So dig up last year's tax return, and grab a Tupperware lid or something round and draw a big circle on a piece of scrap paper. Fold the paper in half so your lines match until you have some even-numbered amount of divisions in your circle. You start with your total amount of compensation on your W-2's (don't rely on the figure in box 1--add up all the little bonuses and benefits that are listed separately, because that list represents your total compensation). If your household depends on income from some other source, add that in. Don't worry about interest or dividends--just the income that you are counting on to come in on a monthly basis to pay the bills. This is the size of your pie. Write that amount across the top of the page.
Now start going through your deduction paperwork. It should tell you how much you've paid toward interest, principle, and taxes on your house (or you could just add up your rent, if you're lucky enough NOT to owe on a mortgage). Next, add up all the types of compensation on the W-2 that do not come to you in the form of money, because these represent money that you paid out through the company for various benefits that they administer for you (health care premiums, 401(k), etc). Then add up all the boxes of taxes that were taken out (don't forget state income tax and even sales tax). Get out your trusty calculator, figure the percentages, and draw them into your pie. You can see that these three categories already take a massive chunk out of your total take-home income. Don't get discouraged--we'll tackle these in later posts.
Next, add up your debt-service payments such as car loans, credit card bills, student loans, and any other debt that you pay a monthly interest payment on. If the payments differ from month to month, try to get an average and multiply by 12. Draw that one into your pie.
Now from here, you can take this exercise as far as you want--adding up your health care costs, charitable giving, food costs, utility costs, phone, whatever. The purpose of the exercise is to get you to see, of course, that what you are making on paper is far more than what you actually see in your bank account. So the next time you are feeling "rich" because you figure you make such-and-such and your house is worth such-and-such and you're tempted to splurge...just remember how small of a slice of that overall pie you are living on.
Your first goal, at the beginning of this money-management odyssey, is to get rid of all non-mortgage debt. To do that, you have to come up with extra money--and unless you are about to get a raise or big promotion (and assuming you don't want to have to send the Mrs. to work), you're going to have to reduce or eliminate some spending to free up money to pay off debt.
Do you see why budgets don't work? The moment you have a figure posted in your head, say $300 on food for the month, or $75 on a phone bill, you find yourself spending the whole amount, thinking you can "afford it"--without any incentive to examine the expense for more ways to save, substitute, or sacrifice. This is why governments may make "budgets," but they always overspend them.
Instead, aim for spending as little as possible. Try to find ways to keep cutting as the months go by. Monitoring your bank statements helps, as well as NOT pulling cash from the ATM. Cash tends to get frittered away, whereas every debit charge gets recorded on your monthly bank statement. Ruthlessly analyze this statement for at least six months, and slash extraneous expenses. This can be distressing at first, because unexamined spending tends to be loose indeed. But you will save far more this way, and will not be tempted to "go over," because you are always seeking the lowest possible cost. Once you've reached the level where you can't go any lower, you can note down the numbers if you like and call it a budget.
But don't get complacent.
The goal is to find money and re-direct it toward paying off debt. This will be easy at first, but gets harder as you go. Examine every utility and telecommunications bill that you get. Read insurance contracts and question charges that you don't understand. Shop loss-leader sales at the supermarkets and be sure to record prices in your notebook. Ask around for tips on saving money, and look for money-saving books and web sites. I only recommend The Tightwad Gazette because it is the most comprehensive re-education in frugality you can get for the money, and highly entertaining, too.
You might become obsessed with money for a little while, because you are embarking on a whole new lifestyle, but try to remain low-key about it. Comments like, "Hey, honey, when I mix your gourmet coffee grounds with half Folgers, we save 25 cents a cup!" may not go over too well. It's hard to convince the family that your goal is their eventual financial freedom when all they hear about is how wasteful they are with money. Just do what you can to work around the edges until the numbers finally begin to convert your husband. Then feed the kids on your vision of what debt-free life could look like. You could take trips. They could go to a horse-riding camp. If they would just give up their expensive sneaker obsession, it would be enough to pay for a family cell phone plan, or whatever ideas you can think of...
If you are lucky enough to have a small-ish debt or no debt at all, great! You can move on to the next phase of the plan that much faster. After all the non-mortgage debt is paid off, you will experience a surplus. Not only did you save money by cutting expenses, but now all that money that was going toward debt is freed up for your next financial goal--a six-month emergency savings cushion. "Great!" you say. "I didn't have any debt to begin with, so I didn't even have to cut expenses!"
STOP!!
You still need to cut your expenses as far as possible...not only does it become a fun challenge (when you're not stressed over debt), but you'll never be able to afford a six month cushion if you keep expenses at current levels. This is why people don't have an emergency fund--they figure they'd never be able to save that much. Plus, you'll still want the money for some other goals worth pursuing, so trust me on this one. Discipline yourself for one year or so and you'll soon find that saving and the tightwad mentality become second nature.
For some people, this is all too much. They would rather just re-finance or roll the debt onto a low-interest credit card, or tell the wife she "needs to contribute" with a low-paying service job. But what I hope you will eventually realize is that our life and our labor are valuable. That is our form of capital.
We may not own factories or natural resources or large tracts of land--we own our labor. And we housewives who depend upon our husbands' labor do not want to see it go to waste. Neither can we afford our own energy or interest in our family to get frittered away. For Catholics, this process is packed with great virtues like prudence and stewardship. Don't forget to pray for the help and resources you need. It might be a part-time job, for a while.
But don't lose sight of your ultimate goal, which is to be the God-centered family you always knew you should be.
For a year, I dutifilly sat down with our bank statement and laboriously added up individual check and debit card payments in about ten different categories in an effort to figure out the elusive budget. It didn't work--there were always incidental expenses, impulse buys, random fees and "miscellaneous money" (Who spent $73.47 on check number 2225??). Add to this the fact that when the paycheck comes in, it isn't always a constant number either. I attempted to average our income over a one-year period but that was also a laborious task...one that I would have to repeat year after year (assuming we still had it). And this is coming from a person whose aptitude test scores always registered "accountant" at the top. How is the not-too-keen-on-math person supposed to perform this feat? The answer: don't.
Here's what you do. You need to get the big picture on your finances, and Uncle Sam already forces you to do it. So dig up last year's tax return, and grab a Tupperware lid or something round and draw a big circle on a piece of scrap paper. Fold the paper in half so your lines match until you have some even-numbered amount of divisions in your circle. You start with your total amount of compensation on your W-2's (don't rely on the figure in box 1--add up all the little bonuses and benefits that are listed separately, because that list represents your total compensation). If your household depends on income from some other source, add that in. Don't worry about interest or dividends--just the income that you are counting on to come in on a monthly basis to pay the bills. This is the size of your pie. Write that amount across the top of the page.
Now start going through your deduction paperwork. It should tell you how much you've paid toward interest, principle, and taxes on your house (or you could just add up your rent, if you're lucky enough NOT to owe on a mortgage). Next, add up all the types of compensation on the W-2 that do not come to you in the form of money, because these represent money that you paid out through the company for various benefits that they administer for you (health care premiums, 401(k), etc). Then add up all the boxes of taxes that were taken out (don't forget state income tax and even sales tax). Get out your trusty calculator, figure the percentages, and draw them into your pie. You can see that these three categories already take a massive chunk out of your total take-home income. Don't get discouraged--we'll tackle these in later posts.
Next, add up your debt-service payments such as car loans, credit card bills, student loans, and any other debt that you pay a monthly interest payment on. If the payments differ from month to month, try to get an average and multiply by 12. Draw that one into your pie.
Now from here, you can take this exercise as far as you want--adding up your health care costs, charitable giving, food costs, utility costs, phone, whatever. The purpose of the exercise is to get you to see, of course, that what you are making on paper is far more than what you actually see in your bank account. So the next time you are feeling "rich" because you figure you make such-and-such and your house is worth such-and-such and you're tempted to splurge...just remember how small of a slice of that overall pie you are living on.
Your first goal, at the beginning of this money-management odyssey, is to get rid of all non-mortgage debt. To do that, you have to come up with extra money--and unless you are about to get a raise or big promotion (and assuming you don't want to have to send the Mrs. to work), you're going to have to reduce or eliminate some spending to free up money to pay off debt.
Do you see why budgets don't work? The moment you have a figure posted in your head, say $300 on food for the month, or $75 on a phone bill, you find yourself spending the whole amount, thinking you can "afford it"--without any incentive to examine the expense for more ways to save, substitute, or sacrifice. This is why governments may make "budgets," but they always overspend them.
Instead, aim for spending as little as possible. Try to find ways to keep cutting as the months go by. Monitoring your bank statements helps, as well as NOT pulling cash from the ATM. Cash tends to get frittered away, whereas every debit charge gets recorded on your monthly bank statement. Ruthlessly analyze this statement for at least six months, and slash extraneous expenses. This can be distressing at first, because unexamined spending tends to be loose indeed. But you will save far more this way, and will not be tempted to "go over," because you are always seeking the lowest possible cost. Once you've reached the level where you can't go any lower, you can note down the numbers if you like and call it a budget.
But don't get complacent.
The goal is to find money and re-direct it toward paying off debt. This will be easy at first, but gets harder as you go. Examine every utility and telecommunications bill that you get. Read insurance contracts and question charges that you don't understand. Shop loss-leader sales at the supermarkets and be sure to record prices in your notebook. Ask around for tips on saving money, and look for money-saving books and web sites. I only recommend The Tightwad Gazette because it is the most comprehensive re-education in frugality you can get for the money, and highly entertaining, too.
You might become obsessed with money for a little while, because you are embarking on a whole new lifestyle, but try to remain low-key about it. Comments like, "Hey, honey, when I mix your gourmet coffee grounds with half Folgers, we save 25 cents a cup!" may not go over too well. It's hard to convince the family that your goal is their eventual financial freedom when all they hear about is how wasteful they are with money. Just do what you can to work around the edges until the numbers finally begin to convert your husband. Then feed the kids on your vision of what debt-free life could look like. You could take trips. They could go to a horse-riding camp. If they would just give up their expensive sneaker obsession, it would be enough to pay for a family cell phone plan, or whatever ideas you can think of...
If you are lucky enough to have a small-ish debt or no debt at all, great! You can move on to the next phase of the plan that much faster. After all the non-mortgage debt is paid off, you will experience a surplus. Not only did you save money by cutting expenses, but now all that money that was going toward debt is freed up for your next financial goal--a six-month emergency savings cushion. "Great!" you say. "I didn't have any debt to begin with, so I didn't even have to cut expenses!"
STOP!!
You still need to cut your expenses as far as possible...not only does it become a fun challenge (when you're not stressed over debt), but you'll never be able to afford a six month cushion if you keep expenses at current levels. This is why people don't have an emergency fund--they figure they'd never be able to save that much. Plus, you'll still want the money for some other goals worth pursuing, so trust me on this one. Discipline yourself for one year or so and you'll soon find that saving and the tightwad mentality become second nature.
For some people, this is all too much. They would rather just re-finance or roll the debt onto a low-interest credit card, or tell the wife she "needs to contribute" with a low-paying service job. But what I hope you will eventually realize is that our life and our labor are valuable. That is our form of capital.
We may not own factories or natural resources or large tracts of land--we own our labor. And we housewives who depend upon our husbands' labor do not want to see it go to waste. Neither can we afford our own energy or interest in our family to get frittered away. For Catholics, this process is packed with great virtues like prudence and stewardship. Don't forget to pray for the help and resources you need. It might be a part-time job, for a while.
But don't lose sight of your ultimate goal, which is to be the God-centered family you always knew you should be.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Top Ten Wackiest Ways to Save Money
Let's face it, finance can be a boring topic. You can plow through manual after manual purporting to give financial advice, especially to householders, and find (along with perhaps some interesting bits) the same budgeting worksheets and the same safe n' sane investment advice doled out over a generation. Considering how popular these books are, you'd think more people in America would be managing their bottom line better.
BUT THEY'RE NOT!
The real savings rate for US citizens is now -1.3%.It hasn't been this bad since the Depression. Which is pretty much what Amy D. sums up in the first few pages of The Tightwad Gazette, Book One.
For people who are dang near desperate for money-management advice (and don't want to fall asleep learning about it), the unconventional approach is worth a look. For instance, have you considered trying some of these offbeat ideas?
1. THROW YOUR BUDGET OUT THE WINDOW
2. EARN LESS
3. DUMPSTER DIVE
4. HIDE YOUR MONEY IN YOUR MATTRESS
5. LIVE IN A BUS
6. FLEE YOUR 401(K)
7. GIVE BIRTH AT HOME
8. EAT CAT FOOD
9. BUY "LOSER" STOCKS
10. FREQUENT PAWN SHOPS
Sound sensational? I hope so, because this post is an introduction to a series I've already mostly written, according to the subtitles above. Look for each new post with a lag time of 1-3 days to allow for editing (and possible teething). I'm serious about spewing out my new-found insights to anybody who feels like they might benefit from them...so stay tuned....
BUT THEY'RE NOT!
The real savings rate for US citizens is now -1.3%.
For people who are dang near desperate for money-management advice (and don't want to fall asleep learning about it), the unconventional approach is worth a look. For instance, have you considered trying some of these offbeat ideas?
1. THROW YOUR BUDGET OUT THE WINDOW
2. EARN LESS
3. DUMPSTER DIVE
4. HIDE YOUR MONEY IN YOUR MATTRESS
5. LIVE IN A BUS
6. FLEE YOUR 401(K)
7. GIVE BIRTH AT HOME
8. EAT CAT FOOD
9. BUY "LOSER" STOCKS
10. FREQUENT PAWN SHOPS
Sound sensational? I hope so, because this post is an introduction to a series I've already mostly written, according to the subtitles above. Look for each new post with a lag time of 1-3 days to allow for editing (and possible teething). I'm serious about spewing out my new-found insights to anybody who feels like they might benefit from them...so stay tuned....
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Price Book Blunder
I don't consider myself a financial guru. In fact, I have been known to make dumb mistakes about very basic stuff. Take today. I have been touting the benefits of saving at the supermarket with the "price book," which is a little notebook in which you record the absolute lowest rock-bottom price at which you can get your groceries, unit cost/size, and whatever store or source you found it at.
Now, what I didn't tell you is that I've cheated a little bit and carried my price book around in my head. I pretty much buy the same stuff from the same 3 stores, so I didn't think it was worth the exercise. However, I always have my calculator to cut through any unit cost mumbo jumbo I run across on store shelves.
But I got burned today.
Trawling through the local Safeway looking for decent prices on stuff (and not finding squat except $2 a pound coupon cheese), I saw a special on buy-one-get-one-free 18 ct eggs. This is usually a no-brainer, so I start to check them and put them in the cart. Then I see the price is 5.19. Whoa! I think that sounds high, but I'm not really sure. You see, egg price displays surely have to be one of the seven wonders of the world when it comes to confusing people. I'd have to have the price book in front of me to tell me how much to pay per egg.
But since I don't, I whip out my trusty calculator, which tells me the sale eggs are 14 cents apiece. Knowing that sometimes sales can be misleading in that they don't actually give you the lowest unit price for the item, I start calculating the cost per egg on some of the other myriad size/price cartons. Finally I come up with one at 13 cents per egg. Oh well, I thought, this is the best I can get. Prices are going up. So I grab the 18 ct version of this size egg and head for the register. Whoops! Once I'm through I'm checking to see I got my coupon deal for the cheese and I see that I've paid $4.29 for 18 eggs!!
That's 23 cents per egg!!!!
How did this happen? I calculated 13 cents per egg for this size based on a sale price for a dozen egg carton--not the 18 egg carton. By buying the wrong size carton, I accidentally ended up paying full price for the eggs, when even the old buy-one-get-one-free deal would have been better. Of course I didn't realize this until after I'd gotten home and cracked two eggs into a batch of TVP-laced meatloaf. I don't even know if they let you take back something like eggs (I usually can't anyway, since it's impossible to run right back to the store when you've got two tired kiddos...and I hate making a spectacle of my tightwaddery to mystified store personnel--"No, there's nothing wrong with the eggs...I just paid too much for them...")
Of course, if I was a true tightwad (a la Amy Dacyzyn) I would have used two heaping tablespoons of soy flour + two tablespoons water in place of the eggs. So I have a long way to go. Upshot is, I learned an expensive lesson that cost me my savings on the coupon cheese and betrayed the limits of the "price book in my head" idea. The only comfort I get out of all this is the hope that some housewife somewhere will learn from my blunder.
Now, what I didn't tell you is that I've cheated a little bit and carried my price book around in my head. I pretty much buy the same stuff from the same 3 stores, so I didn't think it was worth the exercise. However, I always have my calculator to cut through any unit cost mumbo jumbo I run across on store shelves.
But I got burned today.
Trawling through the local Safeway looking for decent prices on stuff (and not finding squat except $2 a pound coupon cheese), I saw a special on buy-one-get-one-free 18 ct eggs. This is usually a no-brainer, so I start to check them and put them in the cart. Then I see the price is 5.19. Whoa! I think that sounds high, but I'm not really sure. You see, egg price displays surely have to be one of the seven wonders of the world when it comes to confusing people. I'd have to have the price book in front of me to tell me how much to pay per egg.
But since I don't, I whip out my trusty calculator, which tells me the sale eggs are 14 cents apiece. Knowing that sometimes sales can be misleading in that they don't actually give you the lowest unit price for the item, I start calculating the cost per egg on some of the other myriad size/price cartons. Finally I come up with one at 13 cents per egg. Oh well, I thought, this is the best I can get. Prices are going up. So I grab the 18 ct version of this size egg and head for the register. Whoops! Once I'm through I'm checking to see I got my coupon deal for the cheese and I see that I've paid $4.29 for 18 eggs!!
That's 23 cents per egg!!!!
How did this happen? I calculated 13 cents per egg for this size based on a sale price for a dozen egg carton--not the 18 egg carton. By buying the wrong size carton, I accidentally ended up paying full price for the eggs, when even the old buy-one-get-one-free deal would have been better. Of course I didn't realize this until after I'd gotten home and cracked two eggs into a batch of TVP-laced meatloaf. I don't even know if they let you take back something like eggs (I usually can't anyway, since it's impossible to run right back to the store when you've got two tired kiddos...and I hate making a spectacle of my tightwaddery to mystified store personnel--"No, there's nothing wrong with the eggs...I just paid too much for them...")
Of course, if I was a true tightwad (a la Amy Dacyzyn) I would have used two heaping tablespoons of soy flour + two tablespoons water in place of the eggs. So I have a long way to go. Upshot is, I learned an expensive lesson that cost me my savings on the coupon cheese and betrayed the limits of the "price book in my head" idea. The only comfort I get out of all this is the hope that some housewife somewhere will learn from my blunder.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Should the Mrs. get a job at Costco?
Dear readers,
The following is a scenario I typed up to help out a friend. I hope it helps clarify the picture for a housewife who wants to "help out" with family finances and thinks that a part time service job might fit the bill. Think again:
"Let's say you work 30 hrs a wk at $8.00 at Costco (or a service job like it). You will be earning $240 a week, or $960 a month. However, there are several "hidden" expenses to a second income, especially a part-time service income. Is it worth it? Subtract:
-$144 federal taxes
-$48 state/local taxes or other withholding
-$180 for 3 meals/wk prepackaged or takeout (for your tired days)
-$50 extra tank of gas a month (assuming you work locally)
-$100 in Costco food and other "great deals" (c'mon, you know I'm right)
That leaves $438 left.
For your 120 hours a month, you're earning $3.65 an hour. At current household spending levels, it will probably just evaporate. Then it seems you're working for nothing. Running to stand still. Is it worth it? What if you:
Reduce your food bill by 1/3 using a price book and doing some (not all) scratch cooking? (1/3 of a $400/month food bill--if that sounds shocking, get out your bank statement and add up the shopping trips)
+$132
Examine the monthly services billed to your household for redundant/unneeded services. (Examples: phone/cell/internet/cable bills are enormous...do you really need all of it? Can anything be trimmed back or bundled with just the services you use? Do you really need voice mail when you have an answering machine? Do you need your garbage picked up every single week? Do you drive less than 3,000 miles a year--you could get a low-mileage discount on your insurance policy (worth $100/yr to us))
+$75
Reduce debt service payments by paying off high-interest balances or switching to a low-interest, no fee credit card (15% of $300/mo worth of pmts. You have to resolve to pay it off, don't add more debt!)
+$50
Examine monthly bank statement for "blown money" (that irresistible sale, those DVD's, trips to Starbucks, internet shopping. Did you really need it?
+$100
What about entertainment? What if you rented movies instead of going to the theater? Learned to make your own pizza? Subtracted one restaurant meal in a month?
+81
=$438/mo savings, the same amount you would have earned (net) from Costco.
You have this savings now every month to do with what you will. If you find new ways to save, the added wealth starts piling up every month, because once you figure out how to save, conserve, cut back, or substitute expenses, it is money in your pocket as long as you continue those habits ($500 X 12 months=$6,000 minimum tax-free income to your family for the year).
Some people resist measures like this because they think it will cause feelings of deprivation. To that I say, nothing makes me feel poorer than looking in my bank account and seeing only four digits, regardless of how much "stuff" there is around me. Remember that book about the millionaires next door? They shop clearance and don't waste money on things that you only use/experience once. But I know you are creative enough to find ways to save without lecturing everybody, saying "no" all the time and complaining about bills. By changing habits only slightly, you can cut back considerably. I've low-balled all these figures to prove a point, but I know you can do much better because you know your situation. If not, ask your husband to show you or start digging into your paperwork to find out. If you like where this is going, you can take the next step:
*See your household as a "home-based business" and yourself as a capable business manager.
*Continue monitoring bank statements and hidden spending habits that cost hundreds or thousands a year.
*Determine to make your household an engine of wealth by adopting a capital/net-worth mentality instead of an earn-to-spend consumer mentality.
*Inventory your husband's investments...get rid of time bombs! slash expense ratios!
*Plug money into Roth accounts...do you have an IRA?
If the problem is health care insurance, examine the policy you currently have. Does the company give you any choices? Our company offered a low-premium, high-deductible health plan that didn't seem too attractive until we had piled up some money in the bank. Even with hospital bills, we've racked up savings just on the premiums (and the plan is surprisingly generous once we pay the deductible). Even if you can't change plans, the extra savings can help make up the shortfall.
The point is, cut back and conserve on expenses that don't deliver. Reduce or pay off high-interest debt and make sure your investments are working for you, not just sitting there. Build retirement savings. Build a cash cushion. Have adequate insurance, but not too much (do you have life insurance?) Run financial "fire drills"--what would you do if hubby got laid off? If somebody got injured or really sick? What if the housing market tanks and our houses lose value? What if inflation causes prices to rise across the board?
Our success story...after buying this house we had more credit card debt than we had money in the bank. Now after four years we have a 6 month cash cushion and our net worth has quadrupled. We managed this on one income, with a little luck and a lot of discipline, which was mostly just a change in attitude and an awareness of where the money goes. It does work.
Husbands just want to see the bottom line. Unless you really want to trade 120 hours/mo for $3.65/hr, put these steps into action and prove to your husband that you are an efficient manager who can pull her own weight. You don't have to ask him to spend less or change his standard of living. And his enthusiasm will rise when he sees the money start to pile up in your bank account."
Will my advice be heeded? I don't know. So many people seem stuck in a consumer mentality that they are more willing to trade hundreds of hours of their precious time and labor for a pittance that will simply be melted off in trade for consumer junk. Even with families that aren't rabid spenders, the perceived need for extra income will mask the extra expenses that a working wife can bring.
Case in point: my friend Lisa, who went to work "part-time" to help out with family expenses has now increased her weekly hours to 36, the most she can work w/o pulling benefits. She looks and sounds tired, but she probably thinks she has to work this much because the bills just keep piling up. The incentive to save or cut back household expenses has probably given way to "tired days" and the conveniences or material rewards that make such wheel-spinning seem worthwhile. Give it a second look, please.
ROLL CALL! Where are my readers? Have I lost all five of you? I have lots more savings/economic/finance/investment articles in the pipeline thanks to reams of recent research and I am prepared to explain how it can benefit YOU! If you want to see more posts like the ones I have done recently, please comment as my e-mail is now checked daily and my brain is budgin.'
In the meantime, let's all repeat the new Catholic Housewife mantra--
"A frugal and industrious housewife is ALWAYS worth her keep (kids or no kids)."
The following is a scenario I typed up to help out a friend. I hope it helps clarify the picture for a housewife who wants to "help out" with family finances and thinks that a part time service job might fit the bill. Think again:
"Let's say you work 30 hrs a wk at $8.00 at Costco (or a service job like it). You will be earning $240 a week, or $960 a month. However, there are several "hidden" expenses to a second income, especially a part-time service income. Is it worth it? Subtract:
-$144 federal taxes
-$48 state/local taxes or other withholding
-$180 for 3 meals/wk prepackaged or takeout (for your tired days)
-$50 extra tank of gas a month (assuming you work locally)
-$100 in Costco food and other "great deals" (c'mon, you know I'm right)
That leaves $438 left.
For your 120 hours a month, you're earning $3.65 an hour. At current household spending levels, it will probably just evaporate. Then it seems you're working for nothing. Running to stand still. Is it worth it? What if you:
Reduce your food bill by 1/3 using a price book and doing some (not all) scratch cooking? (1/3 of a $400/month food bill--if that sounds shocking, get out your bank statement and add up the shopping trips)
+$132
Examine the monthly services billed to your household for redundant/unneeded services. (Examples: phone/cell/internet/cable bills are enormous...do you really need all of it? Can anything be trimmed back or bundled with just the services you use? Do you really need voice mail when you have an answering machine? Do you need your garbage picked up every single week? Do you drive less than 3,000 miles a year--you could get a low-mileage discount on your insurance policy (worth $100/yr to us))
+$75
Reduce debt service payments by paying off high-interest balances or switching to a low-interest, no fee credit card (15% of $300/mo worth of pmts. You have to resolve to pay it off, don't add more debt!)
+$50
Examine monthly bank statement for "blown money" (that irresistible sale, those DVD's, trips to Starbucks, internet shopping. Did you really need it?
+$100
What about entertainment? What if you rented movies instead of going to the theater? Learned to make your own pizza? Subtracted one restaurant meal in a month?
+81
=$438/mo savings, the same amount you would have earned (net) from Costco.
You have this savings now every month to do with what you will. If you find new ways to save, the added wealth starts piling up every month, because once you figure out how to save, conserve, cut back, or substitute expenses, it is money in your pocket as long as you continue those habits ($500 X 12 months=$6,000 minimum tax-free income to your family for the year).
Some people resist measures like this because they think it will cause feelings of deprivation. To that I say, nothing makes me feel poorer than looking in my bank account and seeing only four digits, regardless of how much "stuff" there is around me. Remember that book about the millionaires next door? They shop clearance and don't waste money on things that you only use/experience once. But I know you are creative enough to find ways to save without lecturing everybody, saying "no" all the time and complaining about bills. By changing habits only slightly, you can cut back considerably. I've low-balled all these figures to prove a point, but I know you can do much better because you know your situation. If not, ask your husband to show you or start digging into your paperwork to find out. If you like where this is going, you can take the next step:
*See your household as a "home-based business" and yourself as a capable business manager.
*Continue monitoring bank statements and hidden spending habits that cost hundreds or thousands a year.
*Determine to make your household an engine of wealth by adopting a capital/net-worth mentality instead of an earn-to-spend consumer mentality.
*Inventory your husband's investments...get rid of time bombs! slash expense ratios!
*Plug money into Roth accounts...do you have an IRA?
If the problem is health care insurance, examine the policy you currently have. Does the company give you any choices? Our company offered a low-premium, high-deductible health plan that didn't seem too attractive until we had piled up some money in the bank. Even with hospital bills, we've racked up savings just on the premiums (and the plan is surprisingly generous once we pay the deductible). Even if you can't change plans, the extra savings can help make up the shortfall.
The point is, cut back and conserve on expenses that don't deliver. Reduce or pay off high-interest debt and make sure your investments are working for you, not just sitting there. Build retirement savings. Build a cash cushion. Have adequate insurance, but not too much (do you have life insurance?) Run financial "fire drills"--what would you do if hubby got laid off? If somebody got injured or really sick? What if the housing market tanks and our houses lose value? What if inflation causes prices to rise across the board?
Our success story...after buying this house we had more credit card debt than we had money in the bank. Now after four years we have a 6 month cash cushion and our net worth has quadrupled. We managed this on one income, with a little luck and a lot of discipline, which was mostly just a change in attitude and an awareness of where the money goes. It does work.
Husbands just want to see the bottom line. Unless you really want to trade 120 hours/mo for $3.65/hr, put these steps into action and prove to your husband that you are an efficient manager who can pull her own weight. You don't have to ask him to spend less or change his standard of living. And his enthusiasm will rise when he sees the money start to pile up in your bank account."
Will my advice be heeded? I don't know. So many people seem stuck in a consumer mentality that they are more willing to trade hundreds of hours of their precious time and labor for a pittance that will simply be melted off in trade for consumer junk. Even with families that aren't rabid spenders, the perceived need for extra income will mask the extra expenses that a working wife can bring.
Case in point: my friend Lisa, who went to work "part-time" to help out with family expenses has now increased her weekly hours to 36, the most she can work w/o pulling benefits. She looks and sounds tired, but she probably thinks she has to work this much because the bills just keep piling up. The incentive to save or cut back household expenses has probably given way to "tired days" and the conveniences or material rewards that make such wheel-spinning seem worthwhile. Give it a second look, please.
ROLL CALL! Where are my readers? Have I lost all five of you? I have lots more savings/economic/finance/investment articles in the pipeline thanks to reams of recent research and I am prepared to explain how it can benefit YOU! If you want to see more posts like the ones I have done recently, please comment as my e-mail is now checked daily and my brain is budgin.'
In the meantime, let's all repeat the new Catholic Housewife mantra--
"A frugal and industrious housewife is ALWAYS worth her keep (kids or no kids)."
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Food price inflation confirmation
Ah...I was so glad to see this, as it confirms everything my gut and my reading have been telling me. Food prices are on the rise, as reported in the Sacramento Bee and the Miami Herald and other major metros. The reasons?
Government meddling, expensive gas, and wacky weather. Get used to it--I don't think this trifecta is going away anytime soon. Wheat's going to go up, too...today I bought 55 lbs of flour.
"It's partly because of corn prices, driven up by congressional mandates for ethanol production, which have reduced the amount of corn available for animal feed. It's also because of tougher immigration enforcement and a late spring freeze, which have made farm laborers scarcer and damaged fruit and vegetable crops, respectively. And it's because of higher diesel fuel costs to run tractors and attractive foreign markets that take U.S. production."
Government meddling, expensive gas, and wacky weather. Get used to it--I don't think this trifecta is going away anytime soon. Wheat's going to go up, too...today I bought 55 lbs of flour.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Milk at $3 a gallon?
I ran a search on the above phrase and didn't find anything, so here's a quick post about surviving price inflation in the grocery stores.
Most of us don't think of food as an expensive part of our budget. The mortgage, the phone bill, and especially the gas bill seem to be getting all of the attention lately (if you're lucky, and live in an area with a great selection of grocery stores, bakery thrift shops, outlet grocery stores, and produce markets, you have lots of options. Just watch for the sales and stock up.) However, if you go through your bank statement each month and add up all those trips to the store, you might find your food bill adding up to $200, $300, or more, depending on how many you have to feed and what your tastes are.
Is price inflation a reality? Even though you still may be able to find the same food for the same price, you should consider that most of the food we buy at the store arrives by truck. Trucks run on gas. Gas is $3 a gallon. Now milk is $3 a gallon (Congress has passed a farm subsidy bill that makes domestic corn too expensive to feed to cattle and hogs. What are they eating? Don't ask. Upshot is, meat's going to get expensive too.) The cheap food we find at the stores is more likely to have been imported from around the world than ever before. As transportation costs go up, so will the bottom line cost of our groceries.
As housewives, we cannot afford to be blase about this. Grocery costs, while not within our control, are nevertheless easier for us to manage than some other costs we have to pay every month. With a little patience and keen observation, you can save enough money at the store to offset other costs, such as the cost of fuel, where you can't control your consumption.
I can't blog endlessly about all the techniques, but I can tell you where I learned them. The Complete Tightwad Gazette is my money-management Bible, a series of newsletters written by a determined housewife in the midst of the bear markets of the early 90's. We could be headed there again, folks. Prepare thyselves. You can pick up this book for under twenty bucks and save thousands.
Or, if you prefer a quicker (albeit less complete) online resource, try Hillbilly Housewife. This link will take you straight to her page about powdered milk and from there you can browse. She has a great section on emergency menus and food budgets.
The stocking up part is important. Don't just buy what you need for the next week or two weeks, thinking you're going to be able to get the same prices several weeks or a month from now. Try to store up to at least three months worth of non-perishables. I discovered this when I walked into Wal-Mart (having been without milk for a week) and saw the sticker price. I bought $200 worth of groceries, but no milk. Crazy? No, just stocking up on the staples that I could still find at my accustomed prices. Luckily, another "saver" supermarket had a stock of powdered milk at the "old" price--less than $2 a gallon.
Take along a calculator because you can't always count on the "unit cost" listed on the label. This is especially true at Costco. We quit going there when I realized we spent more money on convenience foods and paperback books, and I could find my staples at the same prices or better on sale or at the discount market. It's difficult to overdo the pantry principle. My grandmother kept, until the end of her life, an enormous wall-to-wall closet full of packaged food she had purchased on sale, as well as a freezer in her garage similarly packed. I once read some advice from the 70's that one of the best ways to beat inflation was to keep a year's worth of food on hand. The 12-month investment gave a better return than the stock market at the time!
Not to be too much of a doom-and-gloomer, but today's economic indicators are far worse than they were in the seventies. That was three decades' worth of deficit spending ago. The US now owes so much money that we can never pay it back. No joking. You can't blame any one particular president or administration either (unless you want to blame Nixon for taking us off the gold standard). One administration takes from military spending and pours money into entitlements. The next administration sustains this level of spending and then pours more money back into the military. Meanwhile the Fed keeps cranking out greenbacks and selling them overseas to finance the debt, while manipulating interest rates to keep the markets going at home and the voters happy and feeling like they're getting richer. The result is an illusion, a bubble of "false wealth" that cannot be sustained. More details here.
And here.
And here.
Most of us don't think of food as an expensive part of our budget. The mortgage, the phone bill, and especially the gas bill seem to be getting all of the attention lately (if you're lucky, and live in an area with a great selection of grocery stores, bakery thrift shops, outlet grocery stores, and produce markets, you have lots of options. Just watch for the sales and stock up.) However, if you go through your bank statement each month and add up all those trips to the store, you might find your food bill adding up to $200, $300, or more, depending on how many you have to feed and what your tastes are.
Is price inflation a reality? Even though you still may be able to find the same food for the same price, you should consider that most of the food we buy at the store arrives by truck. Trucks run on gas. Gas is $3 a gallon. Now milk is $3 a gallon (Congress has passed a farm subsidy bill that makes domestic corn too expensive to feed to cattle and hogs. What are they eating? Don't ask. Upshot is, meat's going to get expensive too.) The cheap food we find at the stores is more likely to have been imported from around the world than ever before. As transportation costs go up, so will the bottom line cost of our groceries.
As housewives, we cannot afford to be blase about this. Grocery costs, while not within our control, are nevertheless easier for us to manage than some other costs we have to pay every month. With a little patience and keen observation, you can save enough money at the store to offset other costs, such as the cost of fuel, where you can't control your consumption.
I can't blog endlessly about all the techniques, but I can tell you where I learned them. The Complete Tightwad Gazette is my money-management Bible, a series of newsletters written by a determined housewife in the midst of the bear markets of the early 90's. We could be headed there again, folks. Prepare thyselves. You can pick up this book for under twenty bucks and save thousands.
Or, if you prefer a quicker (albeit less complete) online resource, try Hillbilly Housewife. This link will take you straight to her page about powdered milk and from there you can browse. She has a great section on emergency menus and food budgets.
The stocking up part is important. Don't just buy what you need for the next week or two weeks, thinking you're going to be able to get the same prices several weeks or a month from now. Try to store up to at least three months worth of non-perishables. I discovered this when I walked into Wal-Mart (having been without milk for a week) and saw the sticker price. I bought $200 worth of groceries, but no milk. Crazy? No, just stocking up on the staples that I could still find at my accustomed prices. Luckily, another "saver" supermarket had a stock of powdered milk at the "old" price--less than $2 a gallon.
Take along a calculator because you can't always count on the "unit cost" listed on the label. This is especially true at Costco. We quit going there when I realized we spent more money on convenience foods and paperback books, and I could find my staples at the same prices or better on sale or at the discount market. It's difficult to overdo the pantry principle. My grandmother kept, until the end of her life, an enormous wall-to-wall closet full of packaged food she had purchased on sale, as well as a freezer in her garage similarly packed. I once read some advice from the 70's that one of the best ways to beat inflation was to keep a year's worth of food on hand. The 12-month investment gave a better return than the stock market at the time!
Not to be too much of a doom-and-gloomer, but today's economic indicators are far worse than they were in the seventies. That was three decades' worth of deficit spending ago. The US now owes so much money that we can never pay it back. No joking. You can't blame any one particular president or administration either (unless you want to blame Nixon for taking us off the gold standard). One administration takes from military spending and pours money into entitlements. The next administration sustains this level of spending and then pours more money back into the military. Meanwhile the Fed keeps cranking out greenbacks and selling them overseas to finance the debt, while manipulating interest rates to keep the markets going at home and the voters happy and feeling like they're getting richer. The result is an illusion, a bubble of "false wealth" that cannot be sustained. More details here.
And here.
And here.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
My Conversion Story
For awhile this has been a blog in search of a meaning. It's not merely a chronicle of my life as a stay-at-home, and it's not a real consistent reflection on the Church. For every urge I get to post a bunch of pics of my kids, I get another great idea for a long post about some spiritual insight I've had. So I feel stupid and post nothing. But some people get something out of this blog, apparently. So I won't just quit. But I don't have time to write right now. So I dug up this old piece, a speech I gave to the confirmation class a couple of years ago at our parish. I'll change some names to protect the innocent, but I finally feel like I've got nothing to hide. The personal facts I shared really affected my spiritual life and to take them all out would result in a much drier story.
***
Hi, my name is [caelids]. I am 29 years old and am married and have two little boys. Last year I received confirmation and first communion here at [Our Lady of Obligation].
By the time I went to college, I was an atheist, because I thought God had no right to tell me what to do. The people who are supposed to make the biggest impression on you--your parents--had totally failed me. My dad smoked pot and wanted my stepmother to agree to an open marriage. He never went to church or read the bible or prayed around us. But he claimed to be a Christian and he wanted us to believe in Jesus. What a hypocrite! I thought. Then when I actually read some of the Old Testament, it seemed so sexist and violent. I thought, I can't believe in a God like this.
I believed in love. I rejected "organized religion" and settled for having one boyfriend after another. They would love me. And sooner or later, one of them would be The One. Right? Well because of my dad's unstable lifestyle, my stepmother left him and my family support was gone. I had to quit college and go into the military. But here I would find a new life. I had always wanted something exciting to happen to me. I thought being in the military, going on a boat and leaving my old existence behind, I would finally figure myself out, and maybe even find true love.
Well, I had some good times. For once I--who had never been invited to a party in high school--had a bunch of buddies to go out drinking with and we saw some places. I had a couple of boyfriends. But we always broke up, and the heartache never got any better. I got to feeling worse and worse about myself. I thought nobody would ever love me enough to want to marry me. That's all I really wanted. But even though they said they would, nobody I dated ever offered me a ring. So when my married supervisor made a pass at me, I thought, "Who do you think you're saving yourself for now?" We started having a fling.
From the outside, my life looked perfect. I worked at my job, I was promoted pretty fast, looked and acted the part, had my own apartment, had a car, all that. But I had no close friends. I went home alone every night. I was depressed most of the time, felt worthless. I would examine myself in the mirror. Maybe I needed a new outfit. Maybe I should take a college class. Maybe--oh, who was I kidding? I drank some beer and went to sleep.
I dreamt that I was alone on this huge boat that was drifting off course. I was trying to handle the controls all by myself. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't run from the pilothouse down to the engine room and cook the meals and run out the lines and fight the fires all by myself. I was sinking. Then I realized that there was a captain on the boat, and he could steer the boat back on course, if I would only let him. I didn't want to call the captain "God" but I realized I had no choice. I admitted there was a God, and I was probably disobeying him. Next Sunday, I walked up the street to the Grace Lutheran Church and just stood inside the door, listening to the music. I started to cry. Somebody came out, and asked me what was wrong. I ended up sitting at a table with a bunch of kindergarteners gluing cotton balls to pictures of sheep. Boy, I have really hit bottom, I thought.
But that wasn't the bottom. The bottom was when I came down with some kind of infection a few weeks later. I couldn't go to the corpsman on the boat, so I went to the Planned Parenthood on [Beetle Hill] in [Santa Barbara]. I sat in the parking lot, crying. I was scared. What if I was pregnant? What if I had herpes? What if I had AIDS? What if I was going to die, and nobody cared? The guy I was screwing around with didn't care about me. The US government didn't care about my problems. My family was far away. But at least they cared about me. What the hell did I think I was doing?? What if all this stuff about finding myself and believing in myself and forging my own identity was just a load of crap? I dried my eyes, went inside and got some medicine for a yeast infection. Then I went home and spent a VERY quiet night.
When we moved up here to [Sweet Home], I tried a few churches on for size. I missed everyone back at my old Bible Church, but I felt sure I could find a new church where the people were just as nice and the teaching was just as solid. I mean, churchgoing people who loved Jesus all believed the same thing, right? I just needed to find the church that had the right "feel". I went to a little church that met at a school. This is it! I thought. This church had it all--the people, the Bible, and good teaching. I got DH to go a couple of times, but he started going to this Catholic church that met in a strip mall, and I wasn't interested in going to another Mass if he wouldn't go to my church too.
I knew DH was trying to learn his faith. I'd been told by some ex-Catholics that they weren't really "fed" in the Catholic church, but he seemed to have plenty of resources. He had a Bible, stacks of books, tapes, even a radio station, and he prayed the Rosary every night. He offered to share these with me, but I didn't want to know anything about the Catholic church--because I felt sure some of the information would be twisted somehow and I would get confused. But I did pick up enough to know that, logically, some of the things I had heard about the Catholic faith from my church couldn't be right. For example, the women at the Bible study said things like, "Catholics worship the shroud of Turin," and "The Catholics were responsible for the Salem witch trials." Our pastor said that being a Catholic was not Christian--it was the same as being a Muslim or a Buddhist. This seemed like it was going too far, and I wanted to defend my husband from these false statements.
Then one day an issue of This Rock magazine arrived at our house. Aha, I thought, now I'll read through and skewer these weak and false arguments. I read skeptically through most of the issue, making lots of notes in the margins, until I reached the conversion story. I stopped writing and just read it. It was about a woman who wanted unity of faith with her husband as badly as I did, who had worked for some of the luminaries in the evangelical community, but ended up being dissatisfied with their disagreement on fundamental issues. Then I remembered something. The year before, my best friend from the military had called me to tell me she was pregnant after having a one-night stand. I tried to talk her out of it, but she went through with the abortion. This same friend had always affirmed her status as a church-going Christian. I never understood her decision in light of her faith. But it seemed that Protestants and evangelicals disagreed on a lot of things, not just abortion. I'd received a magazine subscription of Christianity Today for a year, and each issue tried to celebrate a facet of Christian "diversity". But was that just another name for disagreement and division over what I thought were the "essentials"?
Through this period, I had a growing sense that the Protestant "position," as such, was in trouble--but I wasn't ready to chuck it entirely. OK, so maybe the Protestants could learn a thing or two from the Catholics, but that didn't mean the Protestants were entirely wrong and the Catholics were entirely right. It seemed to defy common sense, and human nature. I just couldn't conceive of a church that was guaranteed to be free from error. I thought that "real" Christianity must be somewhere out there, but we had just failed to grasp it yet, and these institutions were just the unhappy middle ground we were stuck with until finding out the truth in heaven. I settled in for a long wait. I still prayed my prayer for God to show us the truth, even if I was the one who was wrong.
One night I was watching TV and Dateline came on. It was about a religious cult that had ended in tragedy when a baby died under mysterious circumstances. But what struck me the most was hearing about how the cult had gotten its start. It seems that the patriarch of the group had been going to a non-denominational church very like the one I was going to. But this man had decided that the church wasn't teaching "the truth" and so he decided to start a "home church." He invited family and friends to join him, and the result was this closed-off group of people who all thought they were getting direct revelation from God. One of these revelations resulted in the baby slowly starving to death.
Horrified, I turned off the TV, sat down with a pen and notebook, and started to think. The Protestant scheme was bankrupt. It was unworkable because there was no authority, there was no guarantee of truth, and therefore nothing and no one to stop people from going in all different directions to find what they felt was "their" peculiar form of Christianity. The Bible alone cannot guarantee interpretation free from error. It only serves as a sop to each individual's conscience--because the reader ultimately sets himself up as his own Pope. Even if my pastor was right, I had no way of knowing. I would have to depend upon him for knowledge of faith and interpretation of Scripture, and if that was true, why should it be so preposterous to depend on the Pope for the same guidance?
I was in a hard position. My church was about to throw me a baby shower, and I was ten days from giving birth. I called up the pastor's wife and asked for a meeting. I wasn't just going to drop off the face of the earth. But I couldn't tell her everything. I simply said goodbye and to call everything off. I struggled with a new baby and no friends. I wasn't ready to go to the Catholic Church yet. Dean kept saying, "come home." But I told him it was like going behind enemy lines.
Instead, I sat nursing my baby and read books about the Church. I was skeptical at first, but everything made sense. The documentation, the Scripture references, the history, it was all there. I found myself wishing that Protestantism had so firm a foundation. That fall I enrolled in RCIA, and since then it has been like dominoes falling, my love for the Church.
I have such profound relief and peace that I can know the truth. And when people say that "the truth sets you free," they don't mean that it sets you free from rules, and responsibilities, and the need to be obedient. Rather, knowing the truth sets you free from the fear that you are not loved. The Church is a family. And, like the parents that sometimes disappoint, there are people in the Church who sometimes disappoint us. The Church isn't a sexy, slick, well-marketed fad. It is like a tarnished old bell, lying forlorn and forgotten in an old shop. The young ones come in and are fascinated by the bright and shiny, brittle things. But strike just once, and they break, whereas that old bell rings the louder.
You are coming here for confirmation. That is putting on the armor of God. In this sacrament, you will be given special graces, actual graces that are going to strengthen you for what--I promise--will be a fight to the finish.
***
***
Hi, my name is [caelids]. I am 29 years old and am married and have two little boys. Last year I received confirmation and first communion here at [Our Lady of Obligation].
By the time I went to college, I was an atheist, because I thought God had no right to tell me what to do. The people who are supposed to make the biggest impression on you--your parents--had totally failed me. My dad smoked pot and wanted my stepmother to agree to an open marriage. He never went to church or read the bible or prayed around us. But he claimed to be a Christian and he wanted us to believe in Jesus. What a hypocrite! I thought. Then when I actually read some of the Old Testament, it seemed so sexist and violent. I thought, I can't believe in a God like this.
I believed in love. I rejected "organized religion" and settled for having one boyfriend after another. They would love me. And sooner or later, one of them would be The One. Right? Well because of my dad's unstable lifestyle, my stepmother left him and my family support was gone. I had to quit college and go into the military. But here I would find a new life. I had always wanted something exciting to happen to me. I thought being in the military, going on a boat and leaving my old existence behind, I would finally figure myself out, and maybe even find true love.
Well, I had some good times. For once I--who had never been invited to a party in high school--had a bunch of buddies to go out drinking with and we saw some places. I had a couple of boyfriends. But we always broke up, and the heartache never got any better. I got to feeling worse and worse about myself. I thought nobody would ever love me enough to want to marry me. That's all I really wanted. But even though they said they would, nobody I dated ever offered me a ring. So when my married supervisor made a pass at me, I thought, "Who do you think you're saving yourself for now?" We started having a fling.
From the outside, my life looked perfect. I worked at my job, I was promoted pretty fast, looked and acted the part, had my own apartment, had a car, all that. But I had no close friends. I went home alone every night. I was depressed most of the time, felt worthless. I would examine myself in the mirror. Maybe I needed a new outfit. Maybe I should take a college class. Maybe--oh, who was I kidding? I drank some beer and went to sleep.
I dreamt that I was alone on this huge boat that was drifting off course. I was trying to handle the controls all by myself. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't run from the pilothouse down to the engine room and cook the meals and run out the lines and fight the fires all by myself. I was sinking. Then I realized that there was a captain on the boat, and he could steer the boat back on course, if I would only let him. I didn't want to call the captain "God" but I realized I had no choice. I admitted there was a God, and I was probably disobeying him. Next Sunday, I walked up the street to the Grace Lutheran Church and just stood inside the door, listening to the music. I started to cry. Somebody came out, and asked me what was wrong. I ended up sitting at a table with a bunch of kindergarteners gluing cotton balls to pictures of sheep. Boy, I have really hit bottom, I thought.
But that wasn't the bottom. The bottom was when I came down with some kind of infection a few weeks later. I couldn't go to the corpsman on the boat, so I went to the Planned Parenthood on [Beetle Hill] in [Santa Barbara]. I sat in the parking lot, crying. I was scared. What if I was pregnant? What if I had herpes? What if I had AIDS? What if I was going to die, and nobody cared? The guy I was screwing around with didn't care about me. The US government didn't care about my problems. My family was far away. But at least they cared about me. What the hell did I think I was doing?? What if all this stuff about finding myself and believing in myself and forging my own identity was just a load of crap? I dried my eyes, went inside and got some medicine for a yeast infection. Then I went home and spent a VERY quiet night.
When we moved up here to [Sweet Home], I tried a few churches on for size. I missed everyone back at my old Bible Church, but I felt sure I could find a new church where the people were just as nice and the teaching was just as solid. I mean, churchgoing people who loved Jesus all believed the same thing, right? I just needed to find the church that had the right "feel". I went to a little church that met at a school. This is it! I thought. This church had it all--the people, the Bible, and good teaching. I got DH to go a couple of times, but he started going to this Catholic church that met in a strip mall, and I wasn't interested in going to another Mass if he wouldn't go to my church too.
I knew DH was trying to learn his faith. I'd been told by some ex-Catholics that they weren't really "fed" in the Catholic church, but he seemed to have plenty of resources. He had a Bible, stacks of books, tapes, even a radio station, and he prayed the Rosary every night. He offered to share these with me, but I didn't want to know anything about the Catholic church--because I felt sure some of the information would be twisted somehow and I would get confused. But I did pick up enough to know that, logically, some of the things I had heard about the Catholic faith from my church couldn't be right. For example, the women at the Bible study said things like, "Catholics worship the shroud of Turin," and "The Catholics were responsible for the Salem witch trials." Our pastor said that being a Catholic was not Christian--it was the same as being a Muslim or a Buddhist. This seemed like it was going too far, and I wanted to defend my husband from these false statements.
Then one day an issue of This Rock magazine arrived at our house. Aha, I thought, now I'll read through and skewer these weak and false arguments. I read skeptically through most of the issue, making lots of notes in the margins, until I reached the conversion story. I stopped writing and just read it. It was about a woman who wanted unity of faith with her husband as badly as I did, who had worked for some of the luminaries in the evangelical community, but ended up being dissatisfied with their disagreement on fundamental issues. Then I remembered something. The year before, my best friend from the military had called me to tell me she was pregnant after having a one-night stand. I tried to talk her out of it, but she went through with the abortion. This same friend had always affirmed her status as a church-going Christian. I never understood her decision in light of her faith. But it seemed that Protestants and evangelicals disagreed on a lot of things, not just abortion. I'd received a magazine subscription of Christianity Today for a year, and each issue tried to celebrate a facet of Christian "diversity". But was that just another name for disagreement and division over what I thought were the "essentials"?
Through this period, I had a growing sense that the Protestant "position," as such, was in trouble--but I wasn't ready to chuck it entirely. OK, so maybe the Protestants could learn a thing or two from the Catholics, but that didn't mean the Protestants were entirely wrong and the Catholics were entirely right. It seemed to defy common sense, and human nature. I just couldn't conceive of a church that was guaranteed to be free from error. I thought that "real" Christianity must be somewhere out there, but we had just failed to grasp it yet, and these institutions were just the unhappy middle ground we were stuck with until finding out the truth in heaven. I settled in for a long wait. I still prayed my prayer for God to show us the truth, even if I was the one who was wrong.
One night I was watching TV and Dateline came on. It was about a religious cult that had ended in tragedy when a baby died under mysterious circumstances. But what struck me the most was hearing about how the cult had gotten its start. It seems that the patriarch of the group had been going to a non-denominational church very like the one I was going to. But this man had decided that the church wasn't teaching "the truth" and so he decided to start a "home church." He invited family and friends to join him, and the result was this closed-off group of people who all thought they were getting direct revelation from God. One of these revelations resulted in the baby slowly starving to death.
Horrified, I turned off the TV, sat down with a pen and notebook, and started to think. The Protestant scheme was bankrupt. It was unworkable because there was no authority, there was no guarantee of truth, and therefore nothing and no one to stop people from going in all different directions to find what they felt was "their" peculiar form of Christianity. The Bible alone cannot guarantee interpretation free from error. It only serves as a sop to each individual's conscience--because the reader ultimately sets himself up as his own Pope. Even if my pastor was right, I had no way of knowing. I would have to depend upon him for knowledge of faith and interpretation of Scripture, and if that was true, why should it be so preposterous to depend on the Pope for the same guidance?
I was in a hard position. My church was about to throw me a baby shower, and I was ten days from giving birth. I called up the pastor's wife and asked for a meeting. I wasn't just going to drop off the face of the earth. But I couldn't tell her everything. I simply said goodbye and to call everything off. I struggled with a new baby and no friends. I wasn't ready to go to the Catholic Church yet. Dean kept saying, "come home." But I told him it was like going behind enemy lines.
Instead, I sat nursing my baby and read books about the Church. I was skeptical at first, but everything made sense. The documentation, the Scripture references, the history, it was all there. I found myself wishing that Protestantism had so firm a foundation. That fall I enrolled in RCIA, and since then it has been like dominoes falling, my love for the Church.
I have such profound relief and peace that I can know the truth. And when people say that "the truth sets you free," they don't mean that it sets you free from rules, and responsibilities, and the need to be obedient. Rather, knowing the truth sets you free from the fear that you are not loved. The Church is a family. And, like the parents that sometimes disappoint, there are people in the Church who sometimes disappoint us. The Church isn't a sexy, slick, well-marketed fad. It is like a tarnished old bell, lying forlorn and forgotten in an old shop. The young ones come in and are fascinated by the bright and shiny, brittle things. But strike just once, and they break, whereas that old bell rings the louder.
You are coming here for confirmation. That is putting on the armor of God. In this sacrament, you will be given special graces, actual graces that are going to strengthen you for what--I promise--will be a fight to the finish.
***
Thursday, May 03, 2007
When it rains, it pours...
Hi everyone--just a quickie to let you know I am still here but with absolutely no time (well, only 15 minutes) to blog. Things I would love to write about but can't:
1. Tom's recent hospital stay of 5 days... UPSHOT: We finally got some answers.
2. My grandfather died WITH sacraments... UPSHOT: I am happy for him!
3. My (divorced) dad and mom's weird situation where he's living in an RV behind her house and he's kind of taking advantage of it but she's telling him everything is A-OK with her, meanwhile she tells me she is going to call the cops...UPSHOT: Could you guys try to be a LITTLE LESS DYSFUNCTIONAL???? Please?? I mean, it's only been 25 years!
4. This recent run of high temperatures on my NFP chart and my body's sudden refusal to have a period... UPSHOT: PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blogging may never return to normal, whatever that is. May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all...I sure wish it was with me!
1. Tom's recent hospital stay of 5 days... UPSHOT: We finally got some answers.
2. My grandfather died WITH sacraments... UPSHOT: I am happy for him!
3. My (divorced) dad and mom's weird situation where he's living in an RV behind her house and he's kind of taking advantage of it but she's telling him everything is A-OK with her, meanwhile she tells me she is going to call the cops...UPSHOT: Could you guys try to be a LITTLE LESS DYSFUNCTIONAL???? Please?? I mean, it's only been 25 years!
4. This recent run of high temperatures on my NFP chart and my body's sudden refusal to have a period... UPSHOT: PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blogging may never return to normal, whatever that is. May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all...I sure wish it was with me!
Monday, April 09, 2007
My Preschool Dilemma
Dear friends,
I need your help. I know you are all faithful Catholics, and many of you homeschool. I need to know whether I should send my 3-year old to preschool or if I can get by at home, supplemented with some "social" activities. Briefly I'll list the pros and cons as I see them...however I am not locked into one or another mindset just yet:
PRESCHOOL
Pros:
1. We have a really good, orthodox Catholic preschool program we can send him to.
2. The program is raved about by all the young moms at our parish whose children attend.
3. Preschool seems to offer children an "edge"--they're ready to sit, to listen, and to behave by the time they go to full-day school.
Cons:
1. The school is across town--two days a week I'd have to drive an hour and a half with my littlest one and not much turnaround in between.
2. The program, while affordable for us, is not cheap (volunteer time required, and no child care for my littlest one).
3. It seems terribly regimented--uniforms required. I worry that schools (even Catholic ones) are focused more on turning out cookie-cutter citizens who won't disrupt the class, rather than developing each child's talents.
HOMESCHOOL
Pros:
1. Saves time--I can fit activities for him around my schedule...no drive, no volunteer hours.
2. Good trial run for "real" homeschooling. I mean, if I screw up preschool, I'll know I'm in trouble.
3. Activities are available as "socialization" situations--library and recreation center are close by and inexpensive.
Cons:
1. My son loves being around other children and seems to need structure.
2. I can't duplicate the outstanding religious formation available at the school.
3. I don't feel that teaching comes naturally to me.
I need to make a decision on this, because the classes are small and they are enrolling now. If I don't jump for it in the next week or so, we could miss the boat. Is it worth it?
I need your help. I know you are all faithful Catholics, and many of you homeschool. I need to know whether I should send my 3-year old to preschool or if I can get by at home, supplemented with some "social" activities. Briefly I'll list the pros and cons as I see them...however I am not locked into one or another mindset just yet:
PRESCHOOL
Pros:
1. We have a really good, orthodox Catholic preschool program we can send him to.
2. The program is raved about by all the young moms at our parish whose children attend.
3. Preschool seems to offer children an "edge"--they're ready to sit, to listen, and to behave by the time they go to full-day school.
Cons:
1. The school is across town--two days a week I'd have to drive an hour and a half with my littlest one and not much turnaround in between.
2. The program, while affordable for us, is not cheap (volunteer time required, and no child care for my littlest one).
3. It seems terribly regimented--uniforms required. I worry that schools (even Catholic ones) are focused more on turning out cookie-cutter citizens who won't disrupt the class, rather than developing each child's talents.
HOMESCHOOL
Pros:
1. Saves time--I can fit activities for him around my schedule...no drive, no volunteer hours.
2. Good trial run for "real" homeschooling. I mean, if I screw up preschool, I'll know I'm in trouble.
3. Activities are available as "socialization" situations--library and recreation center are close by and inexpensive.
Cons:
1. My son loves being around other children and seems to need structure.
2. I can't duplicate the outstanding religious formation available at the school.
3. I don't feel that teaching comes naturally to me.
I need to make a decision on this, because the classes are small and they are enrolling now. If I don't jump for it in the next week or so, we could miss the boat. Is it worth it?
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Progressive #25614 Road Test
Trying to boil down a vacuum's performance to its essentials is hard--you want to praise the thing for what it does well, while realizing that no machine--even a three-hundred dollar one praised by Consumer Reports--is perfect. My first vacuuming experience with the Kenmore Progressive Canister Vac had me resolved on returning it to the store. It skittered and wandered over a large wool area rug, picking up some stuff after several tries but leaving a lot behind. Strike one.
Then I turned the agitator brush off (simple slide-and-click thumb switch on the handle) and just used the vacuum's suction to vacuum the hardwood floors. Performance (on XLO setting) was better, but I still felt like I was driving around nothing more than a very expensive broom. Performance on area rugs was OK...I felt it was better with the old upright. Plus, the machine's ergonomic features--everything swivelling and turning and whirling with each movement--were hard to get used to. I was used to muscling the machine wherever I wanted to go, even kicking it to give it a sort of "boost." This new machine required much less pressure from the wrist--the wand was very light and I liked the telescoping feature (although it was far less rigid than I would have preferred--the vacuum "head" wiggles a little bit and the telescoping wand wiggles, too). I had expected a Kenmore product to be more tank-like, so the delicacy of this vacuum's movements and controls surprised me.
It was a little difficult to get used to dragging the canister behind me. It always seemed on an inconvenient side, forcing me to hold the hose in front of me, which is harder on the back. You have to get used to working your way around a room, not starting in the center, doing one bit, pulling back and moving to the next. All these things I thought I could get used to in time, but the carpet-cleaning capability seemed to be lacking.
Then I tried out the attachments. Whoa! This thing really can suck. The PowerMate Jr. is a diminutive version of the full-sized carpet cleaning head, complete with powered agitator. When I tried this thing on the stairs, it pulled up the carpet with each stroke. The suction appeared to be greater when I relaxed my arm pressure and let the machine do the work. The way that the handle is shaped makes this a very comfortable task--not like using the attachments on an upright, where you're just grasping the hose with the attachment stuck onto the end of it. Everything is engineered to rest at the angle you'd be most likely to want it to lie. And the canister itself has a little rubber grippie that lets you move it up the stairs with you and it just hangs out there and doesn't slip off. That was sheer genius--no need for 17-foot hoses or machines tipping over or having to muscle the whole machine across each step!
I used all the other attachments with roaring good success. So what was wrong with the actual carpet attachment, the big PowerMate? I took the thing upstairs and re-attached the PowerMate. This time I lowered the height setting from medium to low. I guess I had been babying the thing a little too much, because this time the PowerMate grabbed the pile and gave a good resistance, showing it was actually sucking. And the machine was easier to handle on wall-to-wall carpet than it was on hardwood floors or area rugs. The ergonomics weren't so wiggly with the added resistance. Encouraged, I took it back downstairs and used the low setting on my wool rug. While still a little missish on the forward stroke, the PowerMate grabbed that ground-down wool pile and actually lifted it on the return stroke, sucking up any debris and dust in its wake. Problem solved.
I love this machine, now that I actually understand it a bit better. I think I might actually like it more for wall-to-wall carpet than for hardwoods (which I'd just as soon sweep) but having the dirt go up into the vacuum rather than into the air is a plus for people with allergies. I can't wait to try this thing on the vans. This machine has imperfections...the little plastic doors on the canister look like they could break if treated roughly. The "floor" attachment (different than the PowerMate or PowerMate Jr.) seems a little flimsy and wiggles a bit. The wheels on the PowerMate are a little hard to push and the wheels on the vacuum itself seem kind of cheap (the retractable cord is a great feature, tho). The machine uses a rather small bag which can get expensive if you insist on using the true HEPA cloth bags (which are $8 for 2) and there are also two filters you have to keep an eye on. But for the price point, I'd argue that Sears didn't skimp on the things that count--solid overall components, strong motor, ease of use and true HEPA filtration. I didn't sneeze once, and that's a bloody miracle.
Then I turned the agitator brush off (simple slide-and-click thumb switch on the handle) and just used the vacuum's suction to vacuum the hardwood floors. Performance (on XLO setting) was better, but I still felt like I was driving around nothing more than a very expensive broom. Performance on area rugs was OK...I felt it was better with the old upright. Plus, the machine's ergonomic features--everything swivelling and turning and whirling with each movement--were hard to get used to. I was used to muscling the machine wherever I wanted to go, even kicking it to give it a sort of "boost." This new machine required much less pressure from the wrist--the wand was very light and I liked the telescoping feature (although it was far less rigid than I would have preferred--the vacuum "head" wiggles a little bit and the telescoping wand wiggles, too). I had expected a Kenmore product to be more tank-like, so the delicacy of this vacuum's movements and controls surprised me.
It was a little difficult to get used to dragging the canister behind me. It always seemed on an inconvenient side, forcing me to hold the hose in front of me, which is harder on the back. You have to get used to working your way around a room, not starting in the center, doing one bit, pulling back and moving to the next. All these things I thought I could get used to in time, but the carpet-cleaning capability seemed to be lacking.
Then I tried out the attachments. Whoa! This thing really can suck. The PowerMate Jr. is a diminutive version of the full-sized carpet cleaning head, complete with powered agitator. When I tried this thing on the stairs, it pulled up the carpet with each stroke. The suction appeared to be greater when I relaxed my arm pressure and let the machine do the work. The way that the handle is shaped makes this a very comfortable task--not like using the attachments on an upright, where you're just grasping the hose with the attachment stuck onto the end of it. Everything is engineered to rest at the angle you'd be most likely to want it to lie. And the canister itself has a little rubber grippie that lets you move it up the stairs with you and it just hangs out there and doesn't slip off. That was sheer genius--no need for 17-foot hoses or machines tipping over or having to muscle the whole machine across each step!
I used all the other attachments with roaring good success. So what was wrong with the actual carpet attachment, the big PowerMate? I took the thing upstairs and re-attached the PowerMate. This time I lowered the height setting from medium to low. I guess I had been babying the thing a little too much, because this time the PowerMate grabbed the pile and gave a good resistance, showing it was actually sucking. And the machine was easier to handle on wall-to-wall carpet than it was on hardwood floors or area rugs. The ergonomics weren't so wiggly with the added resistance. Encouraged, I took it back downstairs and used the low setting on my wool rug. While still a little missish on the forward stroke, the PowerMate grabbed that ground-down wool pile and actually lifted it on the return stroke, sucking up any debris and dust in its wake. Problem solved.
I love this machine, now that I actually understand it a bit better. I think I might actually like it more for wall-to-wall carpet than for hardwoods (which I'd just as soon sweep) but having the dirt go up into the vacuum rather than into the air is a plus for people with allergies. I can't wait to try this thing on the vans. This machine has imperfections...the little plastic doors on the canister look like they could break if treated roughly. The "floor" attachment (different than the PowerMate or PowerMate Jr.) seems a little flimsy and wiggles a bit. The wheels on the PowerMate are a little hard to push and the wheels on the vacuum itself seem kind of cheap (the retractable cord is a great feature, tho). The machine uses a rather small bag which can get expensive if you insist on using the true HEPA cloth bags (which are $8 for 2) and there are also two filters you have to keep an eye on. But for the price point, I'd argue that Sears didn't skimp on the things that count--solid overall components, strong motor, ease of use and true HEPA filtration. I didn't sneeze once, and that's a bloody miracle.
Toilet Tip
This may fall under the category of Too Obvious to Mention, but I've finally found THE WAY to clean a toilet without having to do something disgusting twice.
Typically, you find lurking behind the average toilet a flimsy plastic wand with flattened bristles. This is what you are supposed to use to restore a be-ringed and be-pooped and be-smattered toilet to its pristine porcelain...er, pristineness (hey, it's late). But what really happens is that you take this thing in your bare hand and gingerly swirl it around the bowl to knock down the grossest stuff (while dodging germy splash-back), and end up leaving not only a ring, but a hard yellow crust in the crevices and this black stuff up under the rim. Then you are forced to find some other way to clean the toilet and thus end up engaging in a chore far more often than you should really have to.
Now despite the enormous amount of effort put into discovering new and less-repugnant ways to do this chore using ever-more noxious chemicals and ever-more expensive supplies (disposable toilet scrubbing wands?), I've found that the simplest and best method is the old-fashioned one. Put on a pair of rubber gloves, get down and personal with that toilet, and scrub the heck out of it. Rubber gloves help enormously in doing your housecleaning--they add an element of objectivity and reduce the gross-out factor, as well as saving your hands.
You must use a heavy-duty scrubbing pad to get the scale off, and my favorite is the grey 3M floor stripper pad you can find at your home improvement store. We used these in the military both to scrub black gunky grease off the grill and to strip the floors of old wax (not at the same time). The first few times will require more elbow grease, but as you begin to see those crevices turn white and shiny again, you will experience house-cleaning nirvana, knowing that you have the cleanest toilets on the block (maybe in the city). Follow up with a frequent antibacterial wipedown and you have toilets that a toddler could eat from.
Well, OK, they don't eat from them--but I have caught them chewing on the edges.
Typically, you find lurking behind the average toilet a flimsy plastic wand with flattened bristles. This is what you are supposed to use to restore a be-ringed and be-pooped and be-smattered toilet to its pristine porcelain...er, pristineness (hey, it's late). But what really happens is that you take this thing in your bare hand and gingerly swirl it around the bowl to knock down the grossest stuff (while dodging germy splash-back), and end up leaving not only a ring, but a hard yellow crust in the crevices and this black stuff up under the rim. Then you are forced to find some other way to clean the toilet and thus end up engaging in a chore far more often than you should really have to.
Now despite the enormous amount of effort put into discovering new and less-repugnant ways to do this chore using ever-more noxious chemicals and ever-more expensive supplies (disposable toilet scrubbing wands?), I've found that the simplest and best method is the old-fashioned one. Put on a pair of rubber gloves, get down and personal with that toilet, and scrub the heck out of it. Rubber gloves help enormously in doing your housecleaning--they add an element of objectivity and reduce the gross-out factor, as well as saving your hands.
You must use a heavy-duty scrubbing pad to get the scale off, and my favorite is the grey 3M floor stripper pad you can find at your home improvement store. We used these in the military both to scrub black gunky grease off the grill and to strip the floors of old wax (not at the same time). The first few times will require more elbow grease, but as you begin to see those crevices turn white and shiny again, you will experience house-cleaning nirvana, knowing that you have the cleanest toilets on the block (maybe in the city). Follow up with a frequent antibacterial wipedown and you have toilets that a toddler could eat from.
Well, OK, they don't eat from them--but I have caught them chewing on the edges.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
More About Vacuums
In a world of vomit, diarrhea, and endless loads of laundry...how does one relax? I ask because, after two hectic days during which my husband was home (and I was not exactly on my best behavior), while driving him to the airport, I asked him if there was anything I could do for him while he was gone. "Try to relax," he said. Humph, I thought. Here was a man who could probably hit the couch for a snooze during the onset of Armageddon, and he wants me to relax? OK. So what are the two things I haven't done for awhile? Oh yeah, pray and blog. Who knew?
So that's why I'm here to share with you some info from the vacuum-research front. This is big business, folks. My vacuum background is pretty scarce: you inherit some decrepit old thing from an old roommate or boyfriend or grandmother, ride it hard and put it away wet--no user's manual, no spare parts, and you don't even know what type of bag it uses since you never change it. But then one day it quits. And then you realize how much gunk is building up on the floor, so you hit Amazon and look for the vacuum that everybody seems to like.
Trouble is, human nature is subjective. My first instinct was to go for the Dyson. That's when sticker shock hit me. $500 for a vacuum! There seems to be a couple schools of thought on vacuum buying: the first school goes to Wal-Mart or Freddy's and buys what looks cool and is on sale--this kind of demand is what has been fueling soaring upright bagless sales. Day-Glo colors, space-age plastics, and look--! No bag. That must make things easier, right? Plus, these machines are cheap, cheap, cheap. Comparatively speaking.
The second school of thought ponders deeply and, checking the balance in their bank account (reasoning that you get what you pay for), splurges on a Dyson or a Miele or even--a Kirby (though I am convinced that people who buy Kirby vacuums just haven't done that much shopping around). However, after reading at least half of the 302 reviews of the Dyson DC07 on Amazon, one quickly sees a pattern: three or four satisfied customers followed by one or two with busted parts and spotty, expensive service options. I learned that it is not only what you buy--half the battle is who you buy it from and under what service agreement/return policy. I don't care if it is the best vacuum in the world...it is eventually going to need service, and you are not going to like throwing a two- or three- hundred dollar piece of plastic on the junk pile. While there are many wonderful shopping options online, and deep discounts to be had, I became convinced that to buy a vacuum from an online vendor was a mistake.
Then I pulled back from the individual model search (which quickly became confusing) and looked for some general articles about vacuums. Why are bagless vacuums so popular when they seem to break so often? Is there any reason to go with a bagged model anymore? What's best for allergy sufferers? Why do I keep seeing references to canister vacuums (people still use those?)?
It didn't take long to realize that bagged was better for allergies than bagless (why would you want to look at and handle the gunk when the bag was a cleaner, more hygienic way to trap it in the first place?). Canister-type vacuums are better for people who want to vacuum their hardwood and tile floors without eating their area rugs. And a brick-and-mortar store with an iron-clad extended service agreement, that you could find in any sizable town, was a definite plus. This narrowed the options considerably.
Finally, I did the one thing I should have done at the outset: I typed "#1 rated canister vacuum" into the search engine, and guess what came up: the Kenmore Progressive Canister Vacuum, model #25614, rated #1 by Consumer Reports (as of last summer). The model is currently on internet special for $279.99. The 5-year extended service warranty is seventy bucks, which brings the price back to retail. And the cool thing was that I could buy it online, then drive down to my local Sears the next day and pick up my vacuum.
So now that my new vacuum is sitting here beside me in its box (wonder of wonders, I've just been too busy to use it!), I wondered what to do with the old one, which didn't really break like in the hypothetical example, it's just Dean's 10+ year old Hoover Futura from the Navy Exchange which still sucks and hasn't croaked yet. I think I'll hang on to it, and just have it serviced. "It's lasted pretty well," Dean said when I commented on this venerable vacuum. "But then," I mused. "It probably hasn't seen much use." Forget what happened after that.
So that's why I'm here to share with you some info from the vacuum-research front. This is big business, folks. My vacuum background is pretty scarce: you inherit some decrepit old thing from an old roommate or boyfriend or grandmother, ride it hard and put it away wet--no user's manual, no spare parts, and you don't even know what type of bag it uses since you never change it. But then one day it quits. And then you realize how much gunk is building up on the floor, so you hit Amazon and look for the vacuum that everybody seems to like.
Trouble is, human nature is subjective. My first instinct was to go for the Dyson. That's when sticker shock hit me. $500 for a vacuum! There seems to be a couple schools of thought on vacuum buying: the first school goes to Wal-Mart or Freddy's and buys what looks cool and is on sale--this kind of demand is what has been fueling soaring upright bagless sales. Day-Glo colors, space-age plastics, and look--! No bag. That must make things easier, right? Plus, these machines are cheap, cheap, cheap. Comparatively speaking.
The second school of thought ponders deeply and, checking the balance in their bank account (reasoning that you get what you pay for), splurges on a Dyson or a Miele or even--a Kirby (though I am convinced that people who buy Kirby vacuums just haven't done that much shopping around). However, after reading at least half of the 302 reviews of the Dyson DC07 on Amazon, one quickly sees a pattern: three or four satisfied customers followed by one or two with busted parts and spotty, expensive service options. I learned that it is not only what you buy--half the battle is who you buy it from and under what service agreement/return policy. I don't care if it is the best vacuum in the world...it is eventually going to need service, and you are not going to like throwing a two- or three- hundred dollar piece of plastic on the junk pile. While there are many wonderful shopping options online, and deep discounts to be had, I became convinced that to buy a vacuum from an online vendor was a mistake.
Then I pulled back from the individual model search (which quickly became confusing) and looked for some general articles about vacuums. Why are bagless vacuums so popular when they seem to break so often? Is there any reason to go with a bagged model anymore? What's best for allergy sufferers? Why do I keep seeing references to canister vacuums (people still use those?)?
It didn't take long to realize that bagged was better for allergies than bagless (why would you want to look at and handle the gunk when the bag was a cleaner, more hygienic way to trap it in the first place?). Canister-type vacuums are better for people who want to vacuum their hardwood and tile floors without eating their area rugs. And a brick-and-mortar store with an iron-clad extended service agreement, that you could find in any sizable town, was a definite plus. This narrowed the options considerably.
Finally, I did the one thing I should have done at the outset: I typed "#1 rated canister vacuum" into the search engine, and guess what came up: the Kenmore Progressive Canister Vacuum, model #25614, rated #1 by Consumer Reports (as of last summer). The model is currently on internet special for $279.99. The 5-year extended service warranty is seventy bucks, which brings the price back to retail. And the cool thing was that I could buy it online, then drive down to my local Sears the next day and pick up my vacuum.
So now that my new vacuum is sitting here beside me in its box (wonder of wonders, I've just been too busy to use it!), I wondered what to do with the old one, which didn't really break like in the hypothetical example, it's just Dean's 10+ year old Hoover Futura from the Navy Exchange which still sucks and hasn't croaked yet. I think I'll hang on to it, and just have it serviced. "It's lasted pretty well," Dean said when I commented on this venerable vacuum. "But then," I mused. "It probably hasn't seen much use." Forget what happened after that.
Monday, March 19, 2007
The Dirt on Kirby
Continuing my series (as it seems to be morphing into) on door-to-door salesmen and telemarketers...my latest encounter has been with the Kirby guys. Now you know my heart, gang. I don't want to slam the door in these people's faces--I want to be the best Christian and Catholic I can be to them. We even had a celtic cross on our front doorstep ($10 at Lowe's) until Carl broke it.
This was our second round with Kirby salespeople. The first time, we took the bait and sat patiently through a 1 1/2 hour demo, and were very impressed with the machine--until they showed us a payment plan for $2,000!! Trying to get these people out of your house once they turn on the hard sell is hard! Why did I let them in this time? Well...to tell you the truth, my uncle has fallen on some hard times and his latest crummy job is being a window "demonstrator" in K-mart, trying to get people to sign up for their "contest" which is really an invitation to a sales pitch for...you guessed it--windows. I'm sorta feeling sorry for anybody who has to resort to sales to make money for their family.
So when the guy hears my reasons for turning him away, he turns on the sympathy mode..."Ah, c'mon, I've got these new kids that just need some training...couldn't sell chocolate cake to a fat kid...and my supervisor'll give me $50 if I can just clean your stairs." AARRGGHH!! Why do I always fall for that one? So I give in, and they go away. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about Tom's allergies and my own interminable research process on buying a new vacuum. "Maybe I'll hear them out and check out their product for allergies." But I wanted to see what the internet had to say, and so jumped online and checked out this article from Wikipedia (which continues to impress me as a general source of unbiased information).
The bottom line, I learned after reading the article, is that while Kirby makes a good product, it's way overpriced, their sales tactics are questionable at best and unscrupulous at worst, and they all do it THE SAME WAY. The article gave a devastating blow-by-blow rundown on the typical Kirby sales demonstration that, while effective, seems rather smarmy when you've reading about it dispassionately and you're not the one involved. They appeal to scare and smear tactics and ultimately try to close the deal at the highest possible purchase price, or get you to sign up for an outrageously expensive payment plan. I hit the print button just as the knock came at my door.
They were practicall pushing the box into the house when I said, "Hold on a minute, guys. I want you to have this information and know why it is that I can't do business with a company that uses tactics like this."
KIRBY GUY: What do you mean?
ME (turning back to the printer): You should really read it because a lot of it concerns the sales force.
KIRBY GUY (confers with young saleskid):.......
ME (I kept turning away to check progress on the print job): There's also some interesting history...of complaints.
KIRBY GUY:........
ME (handing them the printout): Plus, there's no way I'm going to spend $1200 bucks on something that only comes with a 3-year limited warranty.
KIRBY GUY (looking hurt): It's a lifetime warranty.
ME (closing door): Goodbye.
As I returned to the dishes, I was tempted to feel proud of myself, but then I thought about my uncle again. That guy was probably trying to feed a family. And it's a hard life for many out there, these days. So I'm not proud about the way I behaved. But I do think it's justified to refuse to deal with an organization if you have a reason to believe that they are dishonest, use unscrupulous tactics, or support immoral organizations (like Planned Parenthood). So good luck out there and I'm sure I'll have another doorknocker update soon.
P.S. I did finally purchase the Kenmore Progressive Canister Vacuum from the Sears web site. It is rated #1 by Consumer Reports for best value and performance for the price. See consumersearch.com for details.
This was our second round with Kirby salespeople. The first time, we took the bait and sat patiently through a 1 1/2 hour demo, and were very impressed with the machine--until they showed us a payment plan for $2,000!! Trying to get these people out of your house once they turn on the hard sell is hard! Why did I let them in this time? Well...to tell you the truth, my uncle has fallen on some hard times and his latest crummy job is being a window "demonstrator" in K-mart, trying to get people to sign up for their "contest" which is really an invitation to a sales pitch for...you guessed it--windows. I'm sorta feeling sorry for anybody who has to resort to sales to make money for their family.
So when the guy hears my reasons for turning him away, he turns on the sympathy mode..."Ah, c'mon, I've got these new kids that just need some training...couldn't sell chocolate cake to a fat kid...and my supervisor'll give me $50 if I can just clean your stairs." AARRGGHH!! Why do I always fall for that one? So I give in, and they go away. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about Tom's allergies and my own interminable research process on buying a new vacuum. "Maybe I'll hear them out and check out their product for allergies." But I wanted to see what the internet had to say, and so jumped online and checked out this article from Wikipedia (which continues to impress me as a general source of unbiased information).
The bottom line, I learned after reading the article, is that while Kirby makes a good product, it's way overpriced, their sales tactics are questionable at best and unscrupulous at worst, and they all do it THE SAME WAY. The article gave a devastating blow-by-blow rundown on the typical Kirby sales demonstration that, while effective, seems rather smarmy when you've reading about it dispassionately and you're not the one involved. They appeal to scare and smear tactics and ultimately try to close the deal at the highest possible purchase price, or get you to sign up for an outrageously expensive payment plan. I hit the print button just as the knock came at my door.
They were practicall pushing the box into the house when I said, "Hold on a minute, guys. I want you to have this information and know why it is that I can't do business with a company that uses tactics like this."
KIRBY GUY: What do you mean?
ME (turning back to the printer): You should really read it because a lot of it concerns the sales force.
KIRBY GUY (confers with young saleskid):.......
ME (I kept turning away to check progress on the print job): There's also some interesting history...of complaints.
KIRBY GUY:........
ME (handing them the printout): Plus, there's no way I'm going to spend $1200 bucks on something that only comes with a 3-year limited warranty.
KIRBY GUY (looking hurt): It's a lifetime warranty.
ME (closing door): Goodbye.
As I returned to the dishes, I was tempted to feel proud of myself, but then I thought about my uncle again. That guy was probably trying to feed a family. And it's a hard life for many out there, these days. So I'm not proud about the way I behaved. But I do think it's justified to refuse to deal with an organization if you have a reason to believe that they are dishonest, use unscrupulous tactics, or support immoral organizations (like Planned Parenthood). So good luck out there and I'm sure I'll have another doorknocker update soon.
P.S. I did finally purchase the Kenmore Progressive Canister Vacuum from the Sears web site. It is rated #1 by Consumer Reports for best value and performance for the price. See consumersearch.com for details.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
And now...time for something...fun.
"You are most like Frodo. You're very friendly, and you have a great personality. Although you like to have fun, you can also be pretty serious at times. It's pretty hard to get you mad, but once you're mad...everybody better look out! Keep that temper under control and realize that you're better off than you may think."
OK...I fail to see how liking the color blue and being a nerd in high school translates to this. But then maybe it's because I didn't pay much attention in Psych 101. The funny thing is, this personality description is pretty much on target.
Around here we have been having a LOTR geek-fest every weekend because there's not much else worth watching and the kids don't think my Jane Austen movies are that interesting. Carl is really into it. He says, "Wanna watch bad monkey? Wanna watch man-with-the-sword?" (Gollum is the bad monkey). He also said "Trees are made out of wood" today. Who says these kids don't learn anything from PBS?
I think I enjoy these movies so much because now that I am a Catholic, I can perceive Tolkien's metaphor more fully. When we find ourselves in the trenches, slogging away at some task or trial, we are like Frodo and Sam, carrying the bane of self, while trying not to use it, for the purpose of destroying it. And when we offer our sufferings for souls, we ride to their rescue--as it were--like the Rohirrim. The elves, like the saints, help us with their gifts and their prayers, but it is we who must go into battle with the hordes of deceived, weak, and ignorant souls...not to destroy them but to save. To win back the land for the king.
There. Who says you can't learn anything from watching TV?
Monday, March 12, 2007
All I want for Christmas is my new knitting needle set, honey...
OK, so I'm jumping the gun a little. But if I ever went back to work, I'd love to be working for Knit Picks. They got started up a few years ago--local outfit, based right here in Vancouver, Washington--offering premium quality yarn at pretty much rock-bottom prices. This is because the owner, Kelley Petkun, goes wherever the animals are and buys direct. They must keep their overhead pretty low, because the office I saw today was small and tucked into the back of a larger building...but you'd never know it from their catalogue, web site, and product line.
Part of what makes this company unique is that they're not just a middleman--selling a plethora of yarns, needles, and supplies culled from all over and taking their cut. I would call them the "Trader Joe's" of knitting. Kelley searches out the yarns herself and specifies how each is to be made up. Then they get the Knit Picks name.
The most exciting product they've come out with in the last year is a set of interchangeable needles. But unlike the interchangeable sets out on the market, Knit Picks' set is quality stuff. These needles aren't plastic--they're the smooth metallic nickel needles that you see AddiTurbo selling for $12 a pair. And they come with 2 different lengths of cable, complete with end caps (meaning that you can use them circular or straight). AND they give you, like, nine sizes. And a case. Get out your calculator and start multiplying and you get dozens of variations of needles, all in one set. What would you expect to pay for this set in a retail knitting store? $100? $120? HA!! Thanks to their low overhead and direct-to-the-buyer concept, this set comes in for the very housewife-friendly price of SIXTY BUCKS. Those other interchangeable (plastic) sets sell for at least fifty. And they don't have the quality, or utility, of Knit Picks Options needles.
Oh, great, now I sound like an ad. I'm sure Tina Birch, the VP that I talked to today, was fortified by my enthusiasm. I couldn't stop praising their product. We sat in her office (with the kids in their double stroller parked alongside) and she asked me questions about the current Options set and some design changes they were considering. Seeing as how I don't actually own the set, I was working off the memory of the set that I sent to my mother last Christmas (that I couldn't help, um, peeking at). They are going to improve it (like that was possible) and keep it AT THE SAME PRICE.
Then she showed me some of the new products. O-ooh. I won't tell you exactly...but for a little higher price, they are taking the Options set way upscale. I am totally hanging on to my gift certificate until this new set comes out next fall! Then she showed me some double-pointed needles that had been given the same treatment. This is the perfect example of what sets this company apart from the rest. They are selling these double-points in SETS OF SIX so the customer isn't TOTALLY SCREWED if one of the needles gets sat upon or chewed by the cat. They might be a couple bucks more, but compared with the plain jane bamboo needles in the store (where you only get four), this shows quality, innovation, and care for the customer that you just don't see in the knitting world.
She did ask me if I read any knitting blogs. It occurred to me that I had not, so here's my bleg--those of you knitters charitable enough to take the time to read me, please leave your favorite knitting blogs and books in the combox so I know where to get started.
In conclusion, I just have to say that in a knitting industry that is become more boutique-y and out of reach of the "average" knitter, Knit Picks saves the day, offering you quality AND quantity--and excellent customer relations, I might add.
Part of what makes this company unique is that they're not just a middleman--selling a plethora of yarns, needles, and supplies culled from all over and taking their cut. I would call them the "Trader Joe's" of knitting. Kelley searches out the yarns herself and specifies how each is to be made up. Then they get the Knit Picks name.
The most exciting product they've come out with in the last year is a set of interchangeable needles. But unlike the interchangeable sets out on the market, Knit Picks' set is quality stuff. These needles aren't plastic--they're the smooth metallic nickel needles that you see AddiTurbo selling for $12 a pair. And they come with 2 different lengths of cable, complete with end caps (meaning that you can use them circular or straight). AND they give you, like, nine sizes. And a case. Get out your calculator and start multiplying and you get dozens of variations of needles, all in one set. What would you expect to pay for this set in a retail knitting store? $100? $120? HA!! Thanks to their low overhead and direct-to-the-buyer concept, this set comes in for the very housewife-friendly price of SIXTY BUCKS. Those other interchangeable (plastic) sets sell for at least fifty. And they don't have the quality, or utility, of Knit Picks Options needles.
Oh, great, now I sound like an ad. I'm sure Tina Birch, the VP that I talked to today, was fortified by my enthusiasm. I couldn't stop praising their product. We sat in her office (with the kids in their double stroller parked alongside) and she asked me questions about the current Options set and some design changes they were considering. Seeing as how I don't actually own the set, I was working off the memory of the set that I sent to my mother last Christmas (that I couldn't help, um, peeking at). They are going to improve it (like that was possible) and keep it AT THE SAME PRICE.
Then she showed me some of the new products. O-ooh. I won't tell you exactly...but for a little higher price, they are taking the Options set way upscale. I am totally hanging on to my gift certificate until this new set comes out next fall! Then she showed me some double-pointed needles that had been given the same treatment. This is the perfect example of what sets this company apart from the rest. They are selling these double-points in SETS OF SIX so the customer isn't TOTALLY SCREWED if one of the needles gets sat upon or chewed by the cat. They might be a couple bucks more, but compared with the plain jane bamboo needles in the store (where you only get four), this shows quality, innovation, and care for the customer that you just don't see in the knitting world.
She did ask me if I read any knitting blogs. It occurred to me that I had not, so here's my bleg--those of you knitters charitable enough to take the time to read me, please leave your favorite knitting blogs and books in the combox so I know where to get started.
In conclusion, I just have to say that in a knitting industry that is become more boutique-y and out of reach of the "average" knitter, Knit Picks saves the day, offering you quality AND quantity--and excellent customer relations, I might add.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
I get to be in a focus group!
Not to make anyone, er, jealous or anything, but I am excited...I've been invited to be part of a focus group for my favorite knitting people, Knit Picks. The company is based here in Vancouver, WA--so lucky me gets to trot on down to their office (which is, like, 1.5 miles away from my house) to check out new products and give my opinion. Don't ask me how I got invited. I probably only got their first catalogue because we're in the city limits. But I feel like one of the privileged few who gets to go to a movie premiere or something (shows you how much I get out now)!
Of course I'll have to bring (or wear) my knitting "credentials"--the one sweater I have actually completed using Knit Picks wool and my work-in-progress 16th century knitted wool stockings, also using their stuff. The excitement probably lies in seeing their latest products, which are always rather innovative, quality stuff--and at prices that tightwad knitters don't have to feel guilty about. The $25 gift credit doesn't hurt either.
I'm supposed to go on Monday, so I'll blog about it and let everyone know how it went!
Of course I'll have to bring (or wear) my knitting "credentials"--the one sweater I have actually completed using Knit Picks wool and my work-in-progress 16th century knitted wool stockings, also using their stuff. The excitement probably lies in seeing their latest products, which are always rather innovative, quality stuff--and at prices that tightwad knitters don't have to feel guilty about. The $25 gift credit doesn't hurt either.
I'm supposed to go on Monday, so I'll blog about it and let everyone know how it went!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Late Night Lenten Meditation
First, let's get one thing straight. I should be sleeping. I should be praying. I should be doing pushups. But here we are. I confess I am so confused now about writing, and especially about writing about spiritual things, that I asked the Lord to interrupt me if He does not want me to write this.
The spiritual reading du jour is Story of a Soul, which we are reading at our ladies' study group at the church. St. Therese, while famous for her "little way," nonetheless admits to "immense desires," including the desire for martyrdom--even all the torments of the saints put together.
Here's where she starts to lose me. She tells us that she is so little and weak all the time, so how could she wish for things that even the strongest constitution would recoil at? I wondered at this while I was in the shower, with hot water cascading all about me (while reminding myself how much Therese herself suffered from the cold and damp at the convent)--at how spiritually bankrupt I must be that I could not even force myself to take a cold shower, let alone endure any torture or persecution voluntarily. How many luxuries have we grown used to in our daily lives, from having hot water on demand to warm sheets to plenty of interesting food to eat and the freedom to shut the world out in our own warm homes? I do not mean this to be a simple lookie-what-we-take-for-granted homilette, however. Bear with me.
From this I moved to thinking about the good things Therese had in her life that I do not have. She called the desire for martyrdom a "consolation" that was sometimes given to little souls like hers, but if a soul were not to receive this consolation she called it an even greater grace. I concluded that I definitely have not received this grace. Score 1 for Therese. Next, I considered her home life, the devout faith of her father and mother, and the support and encouragement she received from her sisters. I definitely do not have that. In fact, after considering all her spiritual insights and the great advancement in holiness she achieved at Carmel, the realization hit me that, even if I offered to change places with little Therese--to offer her my flannel sheets, wool sweaters,and cups of hot chocolate--she would not do it. In fact, in her magnanimity, she would probably call my attention to the several martyrdoms I am experiencing right now--which, while not martyrdoms of the flesh, are nonetheless sources of very great suffering not only to me but to many people who live in this modern age and this materialistic society. These martyrdoms have the great advantage of being all but invisible.
1. Living in a society that does not care about religion. This martyrdom manifests itself in a myriad of frustrations for the good Catholic who must suffer attacks against the Church, marginalization in politics, and having to pay extra to educate his children, among other things.
2. Estrangement from family. The scourge of divorce has robbed millions of the stability and emotional security of having intact families as the basis for society. As citizens in a society becoming ever more individualized, it is common to feel only indifference at the plight of even family members struggling to survive. "I did it, why can't they?" we ask, not realizing that God created families to help do for those who cannot do for themselves. Without families, the individual is subject to the tender mercies of the state.
And, more personally:
3. Isolation. Being that my husband must travel long distances to work, I find myself alone with the children almost constantly.
4. Having a sick child. Caring for him and anxiety about his condition. Doctor visits, hospital bills, special diets.
5. Temptations to discouragement and despair. It's all around us, the little voices that tell us that we're no good, we're worth nothing, all our faith and our good efforts to change society are in vain, the resurrection is a hoax, the Church is power trippin.'
6. Temptations to immorality, impurity, and pride. Don't ask me how Peter Pan can tempt one to thoughts of impurity. Just don't ask. I threw the book in the trash. Our culture is sick, sick, sick.
Look around at your life, and I'm sure you'll find a few of your own. I actually rejoiced when I realized that God had given me my own sufferings, tailor-made for me, and that so long as I handed them all back to Him in joy and love and gratitude, I could profit from them just as much as from any physical austerity. Indeed, we can rejoice to let God choose the martyrdoms, since the heavenly Surgeon knows just where to put the lance, where the infection is deepest. He does not do so out of anger (even though we have no cause to refuse His just chastisements), but out of love, since out of our sufferings comes the love that He thirsts for, the love that only we can give.
Jesus thirsts for your love. He has given you the crosses that you must bear, knowing that He stands beside you to shoulder the balance of the burden for you...because He loves you, because He so greatly desires the love that only you can give Him. "Love and cause to be loved the Love that is not loved."
Now I can go to bed.
The spiritual reading du jour is Story of a Soul, which we are reading at our ladies' study group at the church. St. Therese, while famous for her "little way," nonetheless admits to "immense desires," including the desire for martyrdom--even all the torments of the saints put together.
Here's where she starts to lose me. She tells us that she is so little and weak all the time, so how could she wish for things that even the strongest constitution would recoil at? I wondered at this while I was in the shower, with hot water cascading all about me (while reminding myself how much Therese herself suffered from the cold and damp at the convent)--at how spiritually bankrupt I must be that I could not even force myself to take a cold shower, let alone endure any torture or persecution voluntarily. How many luxuries have we grown used to in our daily lives, from having hot water on demand to warm sheets to plenty of interesting food to eat and the freedom to shut the world out in our own warm homes? I do not mean this to be a simple lookie-what-we-take-for-granted homilette, however. Bear with me.
From this I moved to thinking about the good things Therese had in her life that I do not have. She called the desire for martyrdom a "consolation" that was sometimes given to little souls like hers, but if a soul were not to receive this consolation she called it an even greater grace. I concluded that I definitely have not received this grace. Score 1 for Therese. Next, I considered her home life, the devout faith of her father and mother, and the support and encouragement she received from her sisters. I definitely do not have that. In fact, after considering all her spiritual insights and the great advancement in holiness she achieved at Carmel, the realization hit me that, even if I offered to change places with little Therese--to offer her my flannel sheets, wool sweaters,and cups of hot chocolate--she would not do it. In fact, in her magnanimity, she would probably call my attention to the several martyrdoms I am experiencing right now--which, while not martyrdoms of the flesh, are nonetheless sources of very great suffering not only to me but to many people who live in this modern age and this materialistic society. These martyrdoms have the great advantage of being all but invisible.
1. Living in a society that does not care about religion. This martyrdom manifests itself in a myriad of frustrations for the good Catholic who must suffer attacks against the Church, marginalization in politics, and having to pay extra to educate his children, among other things.
2. Estrangement from family. The scourge of divorce has robbed millions of the stability and emotional security of having intact families as the basis for society. As citizens in a society becoming ever more individualized, it is common to feel only indifference at the plight of even family members struggling to survive. "I did it, why can't they?" we ask, not realizing that God created families to help do for those who cannot do for themselves. Without families, the individual is subject to the tender mercies of the state.
And, more personally:
3. Isolation. Being that my husband must travel long distances to work, I find myself alone with the children almost constantly.
4. Having a sick child. Caring for him and anxiety about his condition. Doctor visits, hospital bills, special diets.
5. Temptations to discouragement and despair. It's all around us, the little voices that tell us that we're no good, we're worth nothing, all our faith and our good efforts to change society are in vain, the resurrection is a hoax, the Church is power trippin.'
6. Temptations to immorality, impurity, and pride. Don't ask me how Peter Pan can tempt one to thoughts of impurity. Just don't ask. I threw the book in the trash. Our culture is sick, sick, sick.
Look around at your life, and I'm sure you'll find a few of your own. I actually rejoiced when I realized that God had given me my own sufferings, tailor-made for me, and that so long as I handed them all back to Him in joy and love and gratitude, I could profit from them just as much as from any physical austerity. Indeed, we can rejoice to let God choose the martyrdoms, since the heavenly Surgeon knows just where to put the lance, where the infection is deepest. He does not do so out of anger (even though we have no cause to refuse His just chastisements), but out of love, since out of our sufferings comes the love that He thirsts for, the love that only we can give.
Jesus thirsts for your love. He has given you the crosses that you must bear, knowing that He stands beside you to shoulder the balance of the burden for you...because He loves you, because He so greatly desires the love that only you can give Him. "Love and cause to be loved the Love that is not loved."
Now I can go to bed.
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