Sunday, August 31, 2008

The End of the Road

Sorry, folks, but I've got to stop fooling myself. This blog endeavor is about over. For awhile it was nice to get my thoughts together on certain things and the responses I received were for the most part heartening. I laughed and learned and enjoyed all the blogs I read. You are friends to me and I will always remember you in my heart.

But life is too full for me to be spending lots of time on the Internet. And to be a good blogger, you ought to do your homework and offer something of value to your readers (I felt). But too much of my study was becoming "how to save a lot of money so the disaster won't affect you." And in the end I decided this was not the focus I wanted. I didn't want my focus to be too much on money and on the imminent [insert pet apocalyptic fear here], and not on God and my kids and making the best quality of life for my family.

I don't know what the turning point was. But reading Bud Macfarlane's novel Pierced by a Sword (available free from Catholicity.com) was a watershed for me. Here it was, all my worst fears--played out in a Midwest setting peopled with thoroughly Catholic characters. I lived my worst fears through that book, and I survived. I learned that what matters when the stuffin' hits the fan is not how much money you saved or how much food you hoarded, but how much you loved your family, and how much you loved and served God. And death is not the worst thing that can happen to us.

I love writing, and people have told me that I'm a good writer...but I'm still discerning how this gift of mine is to be used. I gave it to God with this blog, but maybe He's telling me it's time to shut it down and use it for something else. (and I will be trying to stay off the Internet for everything except e-mail, and the occasional urgent inquiry, so comments may not be responded to).

Sometimes you have to shut out the world, as much as you can, and just listen. I have been quiet enough to hear some things that seemed like maybe God was trying to tell me something. I'll share them with you:

1. Take every opportunity to empty yourself.
2. Fear sin more than any intruder.
3. You need never fear to place yourself entirely in my hands. I will always give you what you need to accomplish my will.

There's more--a little mission, if you will. I don't believe God is "talking" to me, exactly, but occasionally I feel my eyes opened to some truth that seems spiritually profitable. Always I am guided by what I hear at Mass, by what I read as the constant teaching of the Church, and the virtues. If I am ever in doubt, I reject the thought as soon as I can, and content myself with just listening.

We all have jobs to do for God. Some may not be very glorious, or notable (by human standards), but they are just as important to Jesus. Even our suffering (especially our suffering) bears the most spiritual potential and deserves a far more extensive treatment than I've been able to offer here. So here's to it--and discernment of our destinies. Thanks everyone and I love you.

8 comments:

Becca said...

Thank you for sharing your faith and your talent, and especially the message that we should listen to God. I came across your blog while searching for I-don't-remember-what now, a few months ago. I've enjoyed reading your posts. It is good to be reminded that the goal is not any material thing, in the end, or even any earthly value, but being one with God. Every time I re-learn that lesson, I have peace.

Love and prayers from a fellow Catholic housewife (albeit a newbie, and new mother too!)

Amanda said...

I'll miss you, but I understand where you're coming from. I've been thinking more seriously lately about the amoutn of time I spend on the internet.

As a side note, I love all of Bud MacFarlane's books. I haven't read them in ages; I need to read them again.

~m2~ said...

i don't visit (or blog very much) often, but yours was one i had on my bloglines. i am sorry to see you go.

blessings. if you ever write again, i have you on my reader so i won't "miss" anything :)

penni

Mos and Nikou said...

Hi there,

This is a great blog of yours, Your site is very informative and I can relate to your posts. I'm also a housewife. I have just started my own blog: TheShanghaiExpat. Please feel free to visit and let me know what you think for a link exchange.

Cheers,
Nikou

Anonymous said...

I do miss your blog. Still check it once in a while - just in case. I'll leave this address in case you check in now & then. We have a Dignity of Women retreat in August '09, first weekend. Wanna come?
scdccw.catholicweb.com

Robert said...

Hi,

My name is Rev Robert Wright, Editor for Christian.com, a social network made specifically for Christians, by Christians. We embarked on this endeavor to offer the entire Christian community an outlet to join together and better spread the good word of Christianity. Christian.com has many great features like Christian TV, prayer requests, finding a church, receiving church updates and advice. We have emailed you to collaborate with you and your blog to help spread the good word of Christianity. I look forward to your response regarding this matter. Thanks!


Rev. Robert Wright
rev.robertwright@gmail.com
www.christian.com

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Anonymous said...

Wow, I just love all of your entries! Thank you so much! I wish I could get your opinion about stay at home housewifes- without children. It's not that my husband and I don't want children, but rather they are just not here yet (work in progress). My side of the family thinks it is completely ridiculous I am not working & I am not sure how to handle them. I love staying home and doing the "dirty" work and loving my husband and God, but it seems like everyone I know ridicules me for being at home--especially since I'm not pregnant or have kids yet.